Well, I said I would continue this blog –
– So, here goes!
Maybe it was “all in my head”. Now that I have a happy goal insight, as in uniting with my boyfriend and family, and it’s actually working out really well, I have not had many issues with my stomach. Not that I won’t be cautious but it’s nice not being in pain. I’ve temporary given up on the doctors for two reasons. One is because the latest test they want to do required I get a ride to and from the hospital and requires I have someone get the kids from school. There just isn’t anyone here to do that. The other reason is I just feel like I’m being given the run around with them. But mostly the first reason. Now my time here in Wisconsin is closing rapidly so I’ll see how things go and what needs to be done once I settle in to the new place later.
Oh my! I can’t say I wasn’t warned. My mom, Shirley, did try. The folks at the med center gave me a brochure to read about the vacuum procedure and they back it up by telling me it was a much better simpler procedure then they used to do. They told me it was a smaller needle and all this lovely stuff. I also felt it would be better to check on things just in case. What the med. center people didn’t tell me was that I needed to get some one to help me with the kids that night after the procedure because I was gonna be so much pain I wouldn’t be able to move at times. But yeah, they left that out.
It started with the local, then the “small “needle. That wasn’t so bad. But then the doctor would shake my boob really fast and hard for a moment which was very uncomfortable. He’d then look around in the sonogram and use the vacuum thing and then repeat the shaking and so on over and over again. The worst part other than the shaking was my arm that was stretched over my head so it would be out-of-the-way. Now that did hurt, but my boob was numb so what I felt there was just some discomfort.
You know, I have a heart fibrillation. The doctors I saw in Springfield never warned me about not taking things like birth control and products with ibuprofen. I think it’s odd they left that important info out. My kids grandparents were surprised I was’nt prescribed any meds or aspirin type things. I really felt that cause I didn’t have my own insurance they just did what was required and kicked me out the door. The doctors here let me know I may need to take a non ibuprofen type pain med when the numbing wore off and not to lift any heavy object with my right arm for several days. That’s about it.
Ouch! The pain was pretty intense. Putting my kids to bed turned into a nightmare. I had to stop and lay down about every ten minutes or less or just stop and freeze in place for a while. The nurse told me it would be better to wear a bra for a while to help support the boob and she was right about that. I even slept with it on. Later it would be better without, well, a back and forth type thing. Then even later after that with out was best to the point I still hate bras. lol My right boob turned purple, first on the opposite side of where the needle had been. Then a bruise formed where the needle was than it went purple than pretty much every thing turned purple and lumpy and hard. I became aggressively protective of my precious aching purple boob. When the kids even looked like they may bump into me I would throw up protective hands over it and tell them to back off like a dog whose food has been threatened. They were cool with that. I find when you tell your kids a bit about what is going on though they may forget they do understand. So my barking at them didn’t upset them, just made them back off and turn the careful mode on, for a few moments anyway. That night, while still trying to get the kids in bed, I remember laying down and moaning at Hannah that I didn’t want to be any more understanding through experience than I already was. No, it wasn’t moaning, it was more like whining.
The kids eventually did go to bed and fall asleep. The next day the intense pain was gone. I remained sore and terribly bruised for a few weeks after. Right now the bruising is gone but there are still some hard sore areas left near the nipple.
This is a pic of some the the purple taken before it got worse looking.
What were the results? Oh yeah, about that, the results all came out fine. There is no cancer there. Sweet! I feel for those whose results didn’t come out good. It just means more torture from what I’ve heard. The whole time I thought of my kids Grandma who has been through it many times, done chemo and had a breast removed. OMG, how awful, it hurts to think about what she’s been through along with others. So, I take back my whining, now that I’m not in pain. I am grateful to have a tad bit better understanding of what others go through without having to go all the way. I am grateful to add to my empathy. I still think the med center people should have warned me so I could have at least tried to get help that night or have been more mentally prepared for doing it myself though.
Time to update that situation. DFAS is still garnishing half of the child support from my ex and sending it to Hawaii Child Support who is still refusing to give it to me for reasons they keep adding to and making promises they keep breaking. The other day I got a hold of a Hawaii congresswoman’s office and let them know what was going on in hopes she can help. My info was taken down and a release form emailed to me to fill out and send back so they can look into it. It’s the weekend and I have no blank paper so I will pick some up and send it back asap.
As far as my retirement, the new thing they want now is a clarification order from the judge or clerk of courts. The DFAS person who told me they needed this said I could get it from any local court anywhere. Truth is, courts won’t touch an official document that didn’t come from them. So, only Hawaii can do that for me. Getting the right person on the phone in Hawaii is tricky. For one thing they are five hours behind me and they always take their lunch breaks. I have to time my calls just right or it’s all answering machines who let you know they will not return a long distance call. I finally got a real person yesterday and he said he was going to connect me to the person who would take care of my need. I told him I was concerned about the none-long distance call back thing and he assured me that the office he was connecting me to had the ability to do long distance call unlike his. Guess what that answering machine said? Yep, and I didn’t get a call back eve though I left a message regardless. Gonna have to go at it again Monday and hope I land the timing just right.
Thankfully my ex has been paying me the child support half that the gov. isn’t garnishing. I don’t know why they felt the need to garnish and since they did why it wasn’t all of it but I’m glad cause if they did we’d be up a much worse creek then we already have been. We get some disability help due to the kids with ASD so that helps too. However, between half the CS and the SS it is still questionable as to wither we will make rent and if we pay rent then how to pay other bills and food and necessities and such. Chuck and I talked about this and decided that instead of moving in with him this summer we’d up the date to Spring Break.
Image found on google search.
The closer the moving date gets the more I feel this is a really good decisions. Not just financially, I have learned there is never a guarantee there and not to get ones hope up. But what is good for the kids and I and Chuck and his kids. So, we’ll be leaving the beautiful farm-house behind. Sure, I’ll miss the open space but I won’t miss not having any friends I can hang out with in person. As far as beauty, Grand Haven is right on Lake Michigan. You can expect a ton more pictures posted on my FB, that’s for sure. And more crazy fun videos too. There will be difficulties cause that’s how life is, you can’t escape the inevitable, but you can change the way you see things. I get a strong feeling of moving along the path that I am supposed to. I think of that new series called Touch and how it’s about connections that are destined to happen one way or another. Hannah has a reoccurring dream about me sitting next to a guy. She’s had it since we lived in Hawaii. She had it again the other day and while telling me about the dream realized it was Chuck that she has been seeing for a few years now. I think that’s pretty cool. Hannah likes to smile at me sideways and tell me she “approves” finally, that unlike the other boyfriends I’ve had, she likes Chuck and is ok with him.
Well, the Wisconsin chapter of my life was short. I don’t have regrets about coming here, I’m glad we did. The kids and I can’t look back and say I didn’t try. It was important to give it our best and give their dad and grandparents here a chance. Naturally now that we are about to leave their dad has been coming over to spend time with them before they go. If one day he finds it important, he knows where we will be and can always move there.
I was waiting on a photo I wanted to post with this, which I still haven’t received, before publishing. However, I just got a new update today which is 3/28/12.
Regarding the retirement I am supposed to be receiving, I had called the Hawaii court house and left another message telling them how difficult it was to get ahold of them and how important it was to me. To my surprise they actually returned my call today.
I went over the problem and what DFAS needed from them again. The lady informed me that they could not help me and I needed to get an attorney.