Archive for February, 2017

The burning man!

I used to think of two things when I heard those words. One was the movie called The Wicker Man with Nicholas Cage and it’s strange sequel, and the other the giant event that takes place in the desert.


Now I can add another image, myself!

This is the second time I’ve had an ablation procedure. Last time was several years ago while I lived in Spring Field, MO. I had an atrial ablation procedure. They burned 13 areas of my heart. That one I had to be awake and aware for with very little pain killers. They simulated a heart attack over and over again till they found all the areas that needed fixing. Those areas they burned. Music got me through that ordeal. Thankfully, last minute, a nurse informed me I could take my MP3 player in with me. The music helped distract me and keep me calm. Both of which made a huge difference and made the experience not as bad as it sounds. I think without music it would have made for a terrible memory. The worst part of that memory was the medical bill.


So this time, as in last Thursday, I had an endometrial ablation procedure.


I’ve been living just above the line of anemia for quite a while now. During my periods my blood levels have gotten quite low. I’ve had to use a pad and a tampon at the same time and there have been days I used two tampons as well. Often I’ve had issues with the pads and tampons irritating my skin. Then there’s the money it takes to keep the pads and tampons in stalk. Being anemic or on the verge of it all this time explains why I have had low energy, problems with memory, and a craving for raw beef. I have also had a great understanding of how vampires must feel, lol!


Mostly my periods were on a schedule but on occasion they would last for a month or two.  This happened last summer. I got so anemic that my arms ached and I would get random pains in my muscles in random places. Sleeping was difficult because of my arms aching. I still can’t completely understand why I didn’t see a doctor. By the time I did I was already on the mend from that. However, regardless of already being better, my blood test caused my doctors office to call twice, the first time telling me to take an iron supplement and the second time telling me to take two iron supplements. Later when a different doctor checked my blood levels history he was shocked at how low it had been and I wasn’t hospitalized. Not cool on my old physicians part.

I think maybe I didn’t go in earlier cause I was dealing with my youngest sons extreme behavior. He was having bad reactions to being on the wrong meds. It was a very difficult time and I was just trying to get through each day. It’s crazy to think of now, I remember not having energy to even get out of bed but still making myself function. I would just lay down in between everything I did. I’ve pretty much always desired a romantic type relationship but during that time I gave that idea up. I just didn’t have the energy for anything more than just surviving and taking care of my kids. It’s so strange how we can adapt to things we shouldn’t even adapt to. It became normal so I just dealt with it with out taking care of it. I do regret not taking care of myself and seeing a doctor. It was stupid of me. So much worse could have happened.

Although I haven’t had a extended period since than and my periods had gotten on schedule I not only have had the over bleeding problem but I have also been aware that any period could end up one of the extend ones. It was just a matter of time.

I was glad my new doctor was on board with helping me figure this out and fix the situation. He also had me see a OBGYN that is just wonderful. It was the OBGYN that came up with options and we chose what seemed like the best one, endometrial ablation. I didn’t need to be “fixed”, which is what a lot of folks think of when bringing up such a subject. Last year I had an Essure put in which permanently seals off the  fallopian tubes, but doesn’t stop the PMS. I just needed to control or stop the excessive blood flow.  So endometrial ablation seemed like the best option. Basically a device is inserted into the vagina and the lining is burned. Thankfully I got to be put under for the event.

I am not sure if this will fix my being on the edge of anemia all the time or not. The doctor thinks it will. If not than we’ll have to investigate further.

The procedure went well and at this time I’m on the mend and doing my best to take it easy. That meant instructing my youngest that if he was to stay this weekend he had to be on his best behavior and get things for mommy instead of the other way around. He was really good the last weekend he was here but he has been known to do that every so often and not do that in between those times. So I also let him know that if he wasn’t well behaved I’d have his dad come get him. I didn’t include that his dad wouldn’t likely actually do that due to the weather. Kyle arrived a day early due to there being no school Friday. And so far, so good! He even made me breakfast Friday morning.The only issue so far has been a few sibling spats and that both boys think they need to sleep with mommy.


I mostly feel good but I am making myself chill so I don’t set my healing back. I have work to return to and I really can’t afford to not return to it. It is kinda nice to have an excuse not to ferry my kids around all over the place this weekend. And, I’m actually getting some writing done! I do have some cramping feeling which if needed Ibuprofen helps. And I will need to wear a small pad for a while.


I was very happy and surprised that some friends at work helped me get to the hospital and back. Hannah and I had planned to use the metro system. She’s eighteen so she was allowed to be my “person”. But neither of us really liked the idea of using the buss to get there and back.

I’m not superstitious but I do enjoy the different zodiac’s and such. They are fun to identify with and use like one would use their months birthstone. Funny thing about my “element” is that it’s fire.


But don’t think I’m okay with getting burned in general, I am so not okay with that! Lol! Hannah and I were joking around about it last night. I don’t think “burning woman” sounds as cool as “burning man”. It just doesn’t have the right ring to it. Maybe “smoldering woman”. Lol! Or, “Mom on fire,” and than I could dress like Katness.


“The burning times” refers to when people were accused of being witches and burned at the stake. So, I can’t use that one. My burning was to help me, not kill me, or ruin my reputation and take my property.


Although what I’ve been through is on the serious side I do enjoy finding humor in it regardless. Humor get us through so many things.


I would still love to one day go to the Burning Man event. It’s on my bucket list. I would also love try fire breathing someday as well.

Burning Man: Art on Fire




The boys shoveled most of the side walk a moment ago. I didn’t want to get fined for not doing it. It took them a while to get going but I’m glad they did it after all.


Now for some just for fun pics and videos!

the vagina monologues.jpg







Read Full Post »

Time changes us in many ways. My view of certain songs has certainly changed as I have. Not always for the better or worse, more like what fits my mentality at the time. And what fits me doesn’t likely fit everyone else.

Over the years there has not only been songs that “spoke” to me, but also songs that just irritated me. When I was young if I liked the melody of one such type of song I just changed the lyrics to fit what I agreed with and liked. I don’t fell like doing that so much now. If the melody is really good I may try to zone out the annoying lyrics, maybe.



For a while now the lyrics to the song Waterfalls by TLC has annoyed me. I just love the melody though. But those lyrics! Sure it’s unwise and sad when youth leave the security of home and chase easy money, pretend love, and destroy their lives. But it’s unnatural for them to stay home hidden in their mothers skirts. Sadly too many poverty struck homes are stuck in a downward spiral and the parents do not encourage their kids to climb out. Instead they try to prepare them for a life of more poverty. It’s the murky river and stagnate lakes they are used to.

I can’t help but think of the kids my mom worked with in Camden, Arkansas. They didn’t want to go to collage and become successful because they didn’t want their families to reject them. They saw it happen, they saw others who had gotten a good education and became successful come home and be treated badly because the family decided that they were “too good” for them and rejected them. They instead chose to stay with the muddy puddles they were used to so they wouldn’t lose their families respect. Don’t go chasing waterfalls was more of an order than anything.

I understand that the song likely means not to chase drugs and criminal activities and such but waterfalls seems so much more than that to me. Maybe it should say, don’t chase a different mud puddle or don’t chase stagnate lakes or snake infested marshes. Waterfalls are pure and fresh and should be considered positive and be pursued. Unless of course you don’t want your children to become their own people. I’ve had that experience, but that’s another subject.

Another reason that song’s lyrics annoys me is likely also because I love seeing and experiencing new things. So to me it’s suggesting I torture myself. Lol! However, I understand that my way of being isn’t for everyone. Actually, it is more common and healthy for the average person to  be a village dweller. So, maybe that song is good for some people. It’s just like scratching a chalk board to me though.



Me Too by Megan Trainer. I actually like this song, well, at least most of it. There is only two lines I don’t like and I find them very irritating.

“What’s that icy thing hangin’ ’round my neck?
That’s gold, show me some respect”

Okay, I know it’s silly, but it annoys the crap out of me. Why the rest of the song doesn’t? Well, partly cause it’s on the silly side and partly cause when you work hard and put in the time to get somewhere, then awesome! Be proud of yourself and brag some about it. Hey, you did it and you should enjoy it. And while you’re at it take a little joy in the fact that those folks who didn’t believe in you are eating crow.

But just cause you have gold and jewels doesn’t mean you deserve respect. Too many people have these things from taking advantage of others so I just don’t see it as a sign of true personal success and a sign that one should be respected. It isn’t a sign of hard work and perseverance to me. I don’t have any problem with people wearing theses things, they can be fun. But don’t demand respect just cause you’re wearing it. Expect respect because you earned it.

I still like to listed to Me Too but I either turn the channel at the beginning or just mentally tune it out cause those two lines are just too frikin annoying.


I don’t actually hate these songs. And this isn’t a serious blog post. Just in case anyone was concerned or offended.

Who knows, maybe one day I’ll see these songs completely different and change my ideas about them. Sometimes hearing other peoples perspectives can open up ones own ideas and understanding. Could happen!

There are plenty more songs that I find annoying for various reasons but these two are the ones that come to mind when I think about it.

What about you? Any particular songs that just rub you the wrong way? Please feel free to share in the comments.



Read Full Post »