Archive for April, 2018

My thoughts and memories after watching the video about the Islamic ‘Feminist’ Cult.

I’m having trouble attaching the video link on here. For now you can click on one of the links bellow and you should be taken to the video by either one. Also, I had trouble with the formatting. I’ll try to remember to go back in and see if i can fix things later. 
Islamic Feminist Cult interview by Broadly

This is a snap shot, not the actual video. The link to the video is bellow.

Watching the ladies sit there and defend their state of being with a sound of convinced authority that is well rehearsed gave me a sickie feeling. The same with watching them move to the music on cue. I couldn’t quite put a finger on it at the time, so I just chalked it off to how strange it all was…
Until now.
While the cult I was in, for me, wasn’t glamorous. There was no makeup allowed, no pants for woman, those who had money were given church positions and allowed to teach from time to time. Those who didn’t, like me, were expected to take care of everyone else along with tithing and offerings regardless of how it affect the kids and myself. Still, there was something familiar after all.

I remember defending my “church” with the same authoritative conviction. Back then I wouldn’t have agreed that it was rehearsed, but in a way it was. I spent hours, days and weeks in church and Bible study having the prophets teachings drilled into me over and over. Than, I would go over them in my own head and fit the lessons into place like a puzzle securing the cognitive dissonance with a thicker and thicker bubble membrane. So, when challenged, I mean asked, I had it all down pat. I could defend my faith with the same intensity and conviction as that one lady who did the most talking. It felt good, it made me feel strong, and even invincible in a way. No matter how much I was taken advantage of, or how much I was put in my place in front of everyone, or how much it was a struggle to take care of my kids because the leader was sucking the finances out of us, it was those moment that refueled me and made me feel like it was all worth it, that God was working through me, and that was my life’s desire.


Then there’s the odd “dancing” to the music. What was so familiar about that? Oh, yeah, we looked way more genuine. Lol! Raising our hands, swaying, closing our eyes, singing and calling out our praises to Jesus and speaking in tongues. I never really did the mad dancing and running around the church like my hair was on fire stuff. But I was happy for most of the folks who did. The ones I wasn’t happy for were the ones faking it. Oh my goodness, if that isn’t judgmental…
I remember this one young lady who, like the rest of us, was being pressured into being filled with the Holy Ghost. One night at a church service she went forward to be “blessed” and ended up braking out into a dance while having hands laid on her.
For those who are not failure with this, it’s where the preacher or evangelist or prophet, apostle, elder, pastor, and so on… would put his hands on a persons head and loudly pray over them for various things like being filled with the Holy Ghost, being delivered from this and that, and so on and on. It gets very intense and usually the person being prayed over gets a jolt of “electricity,” hollers out, maybe spins around, and goes to dancin “in the holy ghost while the congregation applauds and yells things and stomps to the off beat of the super loud rythm and hittin the tambourine to the music. Some of the congregation will get the jolt of electricity feeling and either run out to the isle and start dancing or running or they start jerking back and forth threatening the structure of the pew.
So, back to that young lady who started dancin. Later, when we were no longer in the church building and it was just our small group our leader, aka prophet, aka Elder, let into her about fakin it.
Man, I just have to shake my head and pause when I think about this. Not everyone who gets “touched by the holy spirit” is faking, there is this thing called group mentality and a lot of people can be effected by it. Not that it’s actually a spiritual being effecting them, but rather a state of mind. But for those who aren’t affected, well, some feel judged or left out or like they won’t be admired and respected. Thus the faking, and there is a lot of that going on too.
I don’t just feel annoyed by the way that young lady was called out for faking because it’s common to fake it, or just because the person who called her out was using the opportunity to use the incident as a means to dig his claws deeper into our heads, but because letting it all out, wither it’s dancing, running like a crazy person, hollerin out words that are understandable and not understandable is a much better way to get the stress of life out than doing harm. Judging people and calling them out for faking it or doing it wrong, is not okay. Also, I just gotta add, falling on the ground, aka slayn in the spirit, in a place that is well trafficked is just plain stupid. If it really was a good god spirit that was “blessing” you, it wouldn’t lay you out where someone dancing in stilettos might put your eye out, for cryin out loud. So if you’re gonna get touched by the spirit, be it faked or group mentality, as in you might think it’s really the ghost of god, then please proceed with enough of your brain to keep you and others, and the pew, safe from harms way. Thank you.
Back to the trance like dancing while sitting ladies in the video. I remember that sometimes I felt very uncomfortable with what was happening around me. Still, I maintained the “blessed by god” appearance. While singing most of the church songs was fun, raising my hands and really trying to concentrate the Lord Jesus Christ wasn’t. My arms would hurt like crazy, my mind would wander and I would feel so bad about that. It was basically torture. I wanted to please the Lord, but often found myself mentally beating myself up instead. I was sincere, which was the problem. I can understand why those ladies sit there and have poker faces that turn to fake looking smiles as they “dance.” I understand the desire for it all to be real and the mental torture when I fell short. I may not have looked like a Stepford wife, but my mind was trapped just as much as theirs likely is.
Just because they appear to live in affluence doesn’t mean they are happy. To me, they didn’t look genuine. But then again they are from another culture so tale tale signs may be different than what I’m used to. If they really are genuinely happy then that’s wonderful. I doubt it, but I’m okay being wrong.
stepford wives series pic



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The Youtube channel called Only Human posted this lovely video about an amazing artist. The video is titled Child Prodigy is a Self-Made Millionaire from Selling Her Incredible Paintings SuperHuman: Geniuses.
I added my thoughts about it under the video.  



My thoughts on this story. 

First I’d like to say that I enjoyed watching this video. Though I may have a different perspective on some things, this young lady is exceptional and her art work is enchanting. Though I can’t know for sure, it appears that though her family is benefiting from her talent, they don’t appear to be taking advantage of her. They all work for her and are doing a grand job. It’s seems that they are quite the team. I hope I am right in saying that she is fortunate to have them.

I really like what her mother said about her schooling and about education for children in general. Personally I found it easier to learn challenging things once I understood what those things were for and why I needed them. Other wise I either failed or did poorly on the tests and when I did well it was from short term memory unlike the subjects I liked and or understood their value in my regard.

I’m not actually a home school advocate, I believe it can be helpful in certain cases at certain times, and other times quite the opposite. But public school and parochial school also have their issues so I believe the same about them.

I also thought her mother had a good point about what other children are doing with their time.

Regarding “god” directing her, if there are gods well than there ya go, they are helping her. And I wouldn’t want to take that from her, not that I could, but I am happy for her success and happiness regardless.  However, it would be nice if the god or gods would do the same for children who are starving to death in countries that oppress them. Not with art, but with guidance on how to fix the situation for themselves and the rest of the starving and oppressed in the world. While some may say that’s impossible, well, so is a four year old doing the kind of art this young lady was doing at that age.

I believe the god she hears is a part of her subconscious. She is obviously gifted and likely is gifted in more areas than just art. It’s possible she has very keen perception and an extraordinary memory. It makes sense. After all, for artists who paint life with such detail making their art look alive takes perception and memory.

The reason I bring up memory is because her dad said they didn’t read the Bible so they were surprised she knew the spiritual things she claimed god was telling her. (I did not quote him word for word.) It would not be surprising if she was around other people who talked about such things wither it was to her or just near her. Just because her parents weren’t interested doesn’t mean her young self wasn’t either. Maybe conscious or subconscious or both, add that to a gifted memory and you have yourself a spiritual prodigy.

Like many people, when one finds themselves surprisingly talented at something, it’s common to attribute the ability to a deity and not to psychology and ones own ability as it is. I think most folks don’t understand the amazing things the human brain is capable of. Like prophets and fortune tellers, some are quite accurate and even many of them believe it’s a spiritual gift. They don’t understand the psychology behind their own ability. Most likely they have been paying attention while others are not. They see the little things, even small facial expressions and body movements that other people don’t pick up on. They likely hear the things others hear as filler words and don’t pay attention to. They may even think everyone else is like them, so knowing things about people that others don’t is amazing to them as well because they don’t understand their own brain. They give the glory/credit to god, gods, the goddess, spiritual beings, spirit guides, ancestors, and so on. They don’t believe they are capable of doing amazing things on their own, they sell themselves short and their fans support the misconception. Of course there are those who know these things but claiming them to be spiritual is more lucrative and or better for getting attention. And there are those who are just frauds and rely on other people and equipment and act like it’s a natural gift. There’s still some talent there too, just a different kind. I respect the ones that know why they know what they know and don’t hold back that piece of information while still using their talent to make money and help people.

If you think I’m just grasping at straws, well, believing her gift comes from an invisible man whispering in her ear, well, that’s right up there with the fun stories we call Greek mythology, Sci-fi, fairy tales, Santa and the Easter Bunny and so on. Unless you believe in those too. If that’s the case, okay, have fun with that!


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Often we question why God allows us to suffer.
Sometimes we can easily see how it was for the best, how the suffering made us a better person and so on.
However, some times those reasons are murky or down right impossible to see.
You see, when a human can’t explain why they are allowing another human to suffer when they have the ability to stop the suffering, telling that suffering person and the others wondering why, “have faith in me, I work in mysterious ways,” is not an acceptable answer, it’s not okay, and people who do this are bad. Plain and simple.
But, when God does this, we need to accept that answer blindly, we need to have faith.
It’s not abuse because it’s something God is doing, not people.
When people do it, it’s abuse.
In other words, do what God says to do but don’t do what he does.

The late Dr. Stephen Hawking is a good example of great knowledge coming from suffering.

-God allowed Stephen Hawking to have ALS

-so he could become an outstanding scientist

-and discover that there is no God.


I know! Right!
On a more serious note, there was a period of time that Dr. Hawking believed that there most likely was some sort of god or creator. However, over time he came to understand that it didn’t actually take a creator/god to cause the big bang and all that was put into motion from there.

From what I’ve read and understood about Dr. Hawking, his realization that there isn’t a god didn’t come from a place of pride, obstinance, bitterness and so on, but from keeping an open mind and an ability to keep questioning everything, even things he himself felt he knew. He never got to a place where he couldn’t learn more, learn better, see mistakes, and better his understanding. 

I’m bummed that he passed. I don’t know how much he was or wasn’t suffering. I’m not educated much on ALS. But if it got to be too much than I can be happy for him. Instead of thinkin he’s in a better or worse place, I know his legacy lives on in the lives of many of the living in the here and now and the future to come.

Does God have a plan for your life?
Do you know what it is?
What you really need to be asking is, do you have a plan for your life?
Do you have a list of the steps you need to take to get there?
If you really feel you need to believe in a god or gods, fine, but you still need to find your path and create a way to accomplish it.
You also need to include giving back and passing it forward and the steps you need to make that happen along side of your goals.
If it makes you feel better, I’ll go ahead and tell you that it’s gods will, or the goddess’ will, or the gods and goddesses will… for you to make your own way, to pave your own path, to set your own goals, to help others along the way, to overcome obstacles, to find inspiration when you start doubting yourself, to keep building, keep moving, keep believing in you, rest here and there and catch your breath, than carry on, keep going, keeping your goal in your sight.

Remember people like Dr. Stephan Hawking, let their tenacity inspire you to keep going even when everyone around you knows it’s over and your goals are impossible. If you can’t find people who will encourage in person, find them online, with caution, and find them in videos, books, magazines, shows, fill your mind with the stories and tales of people who went against the odds and succeed and let them help you push out self doubt.


I love that Dr. Hawking got to experience Zero-Gravity! 

place inspirational quot here

Just thought I’d give you a head start! 😉 


god has a plan

When I bring this up people still go on about why God is good and so on. I usually don’t go on anymore about it with them because if they are willing to excuse a being who turns a blind eye to the horrors so many are going through, than what more is there to say.  They melt into circular reasoning. Carrying on with them becomes redundant and a waste of time. Not that the person is bad, or isn’t worth my time, maybe there are other areas where we can communicate with reason. The way people defend their imaginary sky daddy is the same as the way people in cults defend their abusive leader. It’s rare for someone to just get it and detach themselves. Maybe they will think about what was said later, maybe not. So, I usually move on to the next subject and hope they can do the same. 


wwgd wwjd

trust in the lord not yourself





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