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Posts Tagged ‘child support’

She was dressed to the nines as she made her way through the small town grocery store. “Mom”, a teen girl called out as she raced up to her. “Did you remember the ice cream?” The teen was dressed in designer jeans and a right off the rack Hot Topic blouse.
At the check out stand after the checker scanned the Twix bar and cookies and cream ice cream she reached into her Coach hand bag and pulled out a food stamps card. The teller tried not to roll his eyes. After all it wasn’t his business.
He needed to vent so when the cashier got home he told his wife. They worked hard long hours to keep their family going and this just felt like a slap in the face. His wife found a pic that related to their frustration that had been going around the social media for quite some time now and shared it telling about the woman at the store who was taking advantage of the system. Several of her friends commented on how sick it was and some had horror stories of their own to share. Several went on about how lazy the woman at the store was and needed to get a job. There were about two comments from folks explaining how it’s not all that easy to scam the system anymore and suggested the woman may have gotten her things already used or as gifts. But those comments were ignored because there wasn’t enough drama to them and what fun is there in that.

Gucci and Food Stamps
***

Let me tell you a true story now. It’s a story about me. I have a food stamp card. I’ve had all the way from several hundred dollars on it to just under fifty dollars. We also get Social Security and Child Support. As far as how much we get, the SS and the FS go up and down depending on how much the CS is and each other is. In other words, there is a ceiling on it. I simply can’t get rich or even ahead off the government help. I could lie but because I love my four children I don’t want to go to jail and have to pay penalties cause the chances are I’d be caught. It’s not worth it. And they do know how to catch people.

I do however pull my FoodStamps card out of my Coach bag. I was pretty excited when I saw it at a garage sale for four bucks. I even did something I know better about, I didn’t check the zipper. Yeah, it’s broken. My bad! And really, the ladies selling it could have been honest but not everyone cares to live the way they expect others to live. I’m zipper OCD. Meaning I wont purchase a purse with out a good zipper cause I don’t want my stuff falling out. But, I’m also purse lazy and I don’t want to empty it again and put my stuff in another one. It may seem like the lazy won over the OCD but when I find another purse that’s just right for me (and affordable) I will find the motivation to transfer my things into it. Meanwhile, I am still pulling my FoodStamps card out of my Coach purse when I need to use it.

I also like to dress well. Every now and then I feel obligated to update my wardrobe with a shirt or two so I go shopping at the second hand store or rummage through the sale racks at Walmart. Here on this side of the US the Walmarts have some pretty awesome sales. And I love heals! They up-dress an outfit. I don’t actually dress up as much anymore though. Not because the small farm towns here in the mid west are full of people who look at you like your a tramp cause you’re not wearing dumpy blue jeans and work boots. But because I have IBS and my stomach is very sensitive. It makes it challenging to find nice things to wear that don’t cause me a lot of pain. I’m working on getting better and when I do it’s back to the nines for me! (At a discount, of course.)

Then there’s my oldest. She does have a “designer” pair of jeans that I bought her quite a while ago. Well, they may not actually be official designer jeans but they are really cool looking. The blouse from Hot Topic, I just bought that for her the beginning of this month. Being my oldest and having aspergers she has acquired an understanding of our financial difficulties and unlike her younger sister she hardly ever asks for anything. So once in a great while I like to get her something nice that she will use. I wish I could do more for her and that she didn’t worry about money and such. But such is life.

I don’t usually purchase candy bars but I’m not against it. Sometimes it’s nice to have a treat whither it’s for me or my kids. I do get them ice cream. I think it’s nice for kids to have ice cream sometimes. The closest store is a small town market type so the ice cream prices are horrible unless there is a sale which if I am going to purchase ice cream I wait for.

And why don’t I get a job?

A job? Gee, that sounds so fun. No joke! I’m serious. If I had a job I could see adults and talk to adults and listen to adults. Wow! I could have somewhat of a social life with a job. I’ve worked before ( a lot) and I enjoyed it. So I’m pretty sure I would enjoy it again. However, I am not only a single mom of four lovely children, but I am a mom of children with special needs. My children who are diagnosed with Autism actually did really well in school this last year and I didn’t have to make appearances at their schools every other to every day. It was wonderful but also felt a little strange. My youngest who is still going through the diagnoses process is another story. The school so far does well enough with him that it’s actually possible I could get a job during school hours this upcoming school year. I will certainly be looking into that. At the moment it’s summer break and due to his “behavioral issues” I can not leave him at home with his siblings for long and often not at all. His dad lives to far to drop him off and pick him up again and he was too busy with collage as it was. Now he has a nine to five job and again still lives to far away to keep my little guy in the evenings and have him home in time for bed which is very important not just for his behavior but for when school is back in session.

Then again, why is it wrong to get help from “the system” in order to stay home with ones children? When did it become a bad thing to raise your own kids instead of a day care provider or baby sitter? Not long ago my oldest very sincerely told me that they really liked that I was home with them when they were home. It was a very touching moment. It isn’t always that a child expresses thankfulness toward a parent like that. As much as working sounds fun to me I really love the idea of being the best parent I can be.
I understand some folks must work outside the home. But just like I shouldn’t assume things about their life and “judge” them, they shouldn’t assume and judge people like me.

***

My whole point is that things are not always as they appear. While you don’t want others to jump to conclusions about you and to judge you, you need to watch your actions and thoughts as well. When you see someone doing something you think you don’t approve of you are unaware of so much of their background story. Sharing posts about it on social media isn’t harmless, it can cause a lot of harm and when you do it, you become part of the problem. Be careful what you share and “Like”.

It’s like the person who cuts you off on the highway. It’s so upsetting but, you really don’t know what’s going on with that person. Maybe they are just a bonafide jerk. Or, maybe they are rushing to someone who is dying, maybe they are dying. Maybe something horrible happened to their kid or someone broke their heart and they just aren’t thinking straight. In situations like that we just don’t know. If you believe you know what’s going on in the mind of someone on the road or someone in the grocery line, I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you need serious mental help. Seriously, there is no harm in being honest with yourself and seeking help.

Same with thinking someone is taking advantage of the system. You don’t know their back story. It’s possible they are taking advantage of the system. It’s also possible they are on the verge of getting caught and ruining their children lives. But in this day and age it’s more likely they know how to dig for a deal and make it look good. Maybe they have a few bad habits. But what about you, do you have a few bad habits? Mine is gummy bears. I love gummy bears… as long as they aren’t green, orange, yellow or watermelon flavor. And I buy “fruit snacks” from Sam Club in the shape of gummy bears for the kids and I. Please don’t take me out back and shoot me!

 

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Tuesday 10/22/13

It seems the more positive I try to be the more negativity I unearth.

I knew I was too negative inside, but this is a bit ridicules. How does one be truthful and honest yet still be positive and speak things into existence, so to speak. “Hi! I’m broke and don’t have enough money to get through the month.” No! That’s putting doubt and negativity out there. “Hi! I have all the money I need to get through the month… by faith!”  Hum, one is negative but true while the other is a sentence of positive faith or attraction but a lie at the present moment. “Hi! I’d like to sign up for help from the food pantry even though I’m filthy rich!” I don’t see how that would go over very well. How do you ask for help when you’re not allowing your self to put negative words out into the universe or as some would say, when you are not uttering words of doubt that God can take care of you. “Hi! I need to sign up for such and such help because I am still expecting my fortune to come in.” Hum, that might actually work! Lol

What you FEEL NOW, IS what you're going to ATTACT!

I went to the grocery store yesterday to get milk and a few other things. I knew my food share card was almost used up since $80 doesn’t go very far. I had a little over ten bucks left on it. I’d been mentally trying to prepare myself for the cut that takes effect next month which means our food share will be lowered to $40 for the five of us. The food share I had left took care of about half the bill so I pulled out my child support card but it was empty. No problem, I had a little left in my bank account. Nope! So I went to the ATM and found I had about $90 left on the SS card. Pulled out $80 and then went to the bank to find out why I was over drawn. I figured it was a miscalculation on my part.

The beginning of the month had been a bit crazy with the child support and food stamps not coming in on time cause we moved counties. They felt they needed to hold onto the money till they felt like pushing the paper work through causing me to be late on a bunch of bills, several of which were auto payments drawn from my bank. The money I pulled out was just able to cover the over drawn amount and the amount for the groceries I needed, thankfully.

For those who think one can get rich off the “system” they have a ceiling that they don’t allow you to go over. So if one is increased the other is decreased. At least that’s how it is in Wisconsin and Michigan. Apparently there are ways to fool the system but I am not educated in those ways and I wouldn’t want to risk the consequences if I was. For people who are and get caught instead of fining them they should put them in government jobs cause they are so cleaver. Lol

IS098UP5J

Back to yesterday… The problem is, it’s was the 21st, meaning I had a week and a half left to get by on about $20. I still needed gas to get around, food, laundry mat money (takes about $20 or more to do that.) and so on. But, I needed to stay positive. There was nothing I could do about it at the time so no need to dwell on it.

This morning my alarm went off like it does every school morning. I do have a rather positive disposition in the morning. I’m all cuddled up in my warm cuddly blanket on my pillows and I have this sense of thankfulness and gratitude toward the fact that I have a snooze alarm. I mean, I really like my snooze alarm! When I’m asleep through out the night I don’t think about how lovely it is to be sleeping, but once my snooze alarm goes off, well, then I do.

snooze_button

Inevitably the last snooze alarm goes off and I know if I don’t get up I will fall back asleep and that will not be good. So I get up, find my slippers in the dark and wonder what I’m going to wear. Then I realize it don’t matter just yet so I dawn my fuzzy robe. Then I try to remember what it is I need to do next. It would seem my brain doesn’t actually wake up when my body does. Coffee is a wonderful motivator. It’s a toss up between coffee or getting the kids up so I dwell mostly on coffee. I really like coffee! Well, I like my kids too but I hate waking people up. Then it’s which kids to get up? Sometimes my brain is still asleep enough that I attempt to get my girls up first. Hannah is always quick to remind me that she has her own alarm that hasn’t gone off yet. Maybe I forget this some mornings cause her alarm has failed… often. Hum, I don’t know. I often turn the hall light on and then wake the boys. Levi is very good about getting up and getting him self together or attempting to talk me into letting him use the computer. The rule is, if he or another kid gets up before my alarm goes off and gets themselves ready for school then if there is still time left over they may go on the computer or Ipad. Of course they conveniently forget this and are so disappointed when I remind them. This morning that’s exactly what happened. I was the bad guy and Levi was so bummed.

The girls alarm goes off shortly after mine and usually Hannah gets up. Hannah is the oldest so no matter how many times I remind her that it’s my job to raise the kids she still feels strongly obligated to try to wake her sister which doesn’t go over well at all. She also turns the bedroom light on which for a person trying desperately to stay asleep is a huge crime and worthy of severe consequences, such as yelling, apparently. I am under the impression that the yelling person feels it is my job to initiate the extreme punishment on the wrong doer who so rudely turned the lights on so they could see their clothes. I do sympathize, I have been tortured in this way as well. Years ago my then husband would get up about 5am and flip on all the lights and bang things around as he got ready for work. Even more years before that when I was 17 my sister an I were doing missions work at an orphanage in Mexico and would attempt to sleep in on our days off. At the time we were staying in the big girls room sort of as dorm moms and the girls didn’t feel it was fair we slept in so they would slam their mental lockers shut several times each. It didn’t occur to them that normally we were up before them taking care of stuff and didn’t go to bed until they all had as well as the other kids in the orphanage. Teens!  However, on a morning like today Hannah had waited a while and it was well past the time Kara should have been up. So I did not keel haul Hannah.

By the way, hearing my daughter holler and yell does challenge my sense of positiveness or lack there of.

Although I drive Kyle to school normally I still have to help him get ready for school at the same time as the other kids since he can be very challenging when trying to head out the door no matter what it’s for. I also do not like to get the kids up to early because then there is empty air space time and that can turn into disaster or lead them to be late since they start to relax. Still time goes by fast and next thing I know it’s time for the three big ones to head out the door. Sometimes this goes smoothly.

That was not the case this morning. This morning there was a jacket issue. The weather has suddenly turned very cold and even Hannah wanted a heavy jacket. Kara needed another of my sweatshirts cause she already got hers and all my other warm sweatshirts she had borrowed dirty and naturally didn’t think to bring it up till it was time to go out the door. But I had already loaned her all my warm or semi warm ones except the one I was wearing. While getting Levi’s sweatshirt, which he was supposed to already have on but didn’t cause when I told him he couldn’t go online he decided to lay down,  I asked if Kara could borrow one of his which he agreed so she was set. Thankfully I knew where the boys jackets were so that wasn’t an issue. Kara on the other hand was having jacket issues cause she left hers at school the day before. She pulled my jacket out to see if she could use it and that’s when Hannah announce that I had given my jacket to her. Oh crap! Really? Why would I give her my only heavy jacket that I wore all winter long last winter? She informed me that not only had I told her she could have it but apparently I had done so years ago.  When Hannah gets something like this in her head she is very stubborn about it. Then, she dawned the jacket.

Kara had by this time figured something out and was on her way out the door. Hannah stopped for a moment and told me they had already missed the bus but I insisted she go anyway and check. Levi managed to leave right behind her.

Positiveness gave way to frustration and a few tears. I was trying all morning to stay positive but it just wasn’t working. The jacket thing really bothered me cause I couldn’t help but think about yesterdays financial issue and now I needed to add a jacket to my list of things I need to get. I even thought about telling the girls they can forget about going to Dashio Con which is something they have been looking forward to going to and preparing as much as they can. It’s next month. If the con accepts us as volunteers then we won’t have to pay to go, but there is still the gas to get there and it would be best if we would get a hotel room. Hannah plans to wear the costume she already has but Kara plans to make something which isn’t exactly free. Oh yes, then there’s the food we will need to consume as well. Add that to the normal months expenses. Really, a big part of my financial issues is debt. It’s sucking the life out of our money. A lot of it is old medical bills that went to collections a long time ago. Well, some of it did and some is still being handled by the hospitals and doctors offices. Also, it’s normal for things to be tight when one moves cause there is a lot of added expense like first and last or deposit for rent and start up fees for gas and electric and internet/TV/phone and water and trash and so on. Remembering that does make me feel a tad better cause it shouldn’t be so tight once I get through all this. I had borrowed money from my ex for the move in so I still am paying him back.

So, how does one flip from negative to positive. Wither it’s faith or science based I don’t see it as an easy thing to do. Old habits die hard, but I really need this bad habit to die sooner. Negative begets negative, it just makes sense. Patience must be the answer. CURSE YOU PATIENCE! Ok, don’t curse you. When I know what needs to be done I like to do it NOW! So patience isn’t something I really appreciate like I should.

On the way home from dropping Kyle off at school I thought about my actions and feelings this morning. As far as the jacket I am actually thankful that Hannah has adopted my jacket. She has one from a few years ago that she has been wearing the inside liner of. As a matter of fact, it’s the inside liner that is her comfort item. She keeps it with her everywhere she goes and when teachers try to take  it from her I end up having to go to the school to deal with the situation. I have washed the thing but it’s old and worn out so she has some teachers who have offered to clean it for her cause they think it has never been washed. It’s like a child’s security blanket or teddy bear or therapy animal. One day we actually hope to have a certified therapy dog. I think that would help a lot.

She refuses to wear the very nice and still new looking out side of the jacket cause it makes her sweat. Buying her a new winter jacket is difficult cause the odds are once she gets it home and wears it once something will be wrong with it in her opinion. This may sound bad to some but actually it’s an improvement compared to how it was when she was in grade school. She used to have more texture issues. She hardly ever wore pants cause they bothered her legs which is a problem when it’s freezing cold and snowing and she will only wear skirts. I wrote many tardy notes to the school explaining that we were late because she couldn’t find socks that wouldn’t bother her feet. I figured they may as well know the truth as silly as it sounded. She has been able to wear pants, including blue jeans, for a few years now and the sock issue is much better and hasn’t made her late in quite a while now. So, now that I gave it thought I am actually happy she thinks my winter coat is hers. Problem solved. I have enough stuff to layer I am fine and I will replace my coat when I can.

I just found it so hard to maintain being positive when I have made myself aware of wither I am or not, which is actually the first step in improving oneself. And it’s difficult when it’s morning and the rest of the folks in the house are in a tizzie.

I hear writing a list of things you are grateful for helps. It seems true cause after thinking about how I should be grateful about Hannah and the jacket issue I also feel so much better remembering the trouble we used to have and how she has come a long way and is doing so well.

Talking about pants, my other child in the spectrum, Levi, has the pants issue as well. Winter can be a challenge since I want him to stay warm. But really, blue jeans are not always that warm either. The problem I used to have with it was actually his dad. When we lived in Chili WI and his dad would take him to the grandparents he would insist Levi wear blue jeans. I didn’t mind Levi wearing sweats but I knew when daddy came there would be a problem if Levi didn’t have blue jeans on. At first I would make him wear them but that really didn’t seem right. After all it was his dads issue and not mine. It’s also possible his grandparents were putting the pressure on as well cause I had felt the blunt of that myself as well the times I visited. They live on a farm and even though they don’t have animals anymore they abide in a farm frame of mind. Sometimes when I used to visit I would have my $5 thick WalMart sweat pants on and their Grandma would tease me about having fancy pants on when visiting the farm and she wasn’t joking, she really thought my sweat pants were fancy. Her teasing wasn’t just teasing either but her way of letting you know you weren’t appropriate.

ihatebluejeans

So I gave up trying to get Levi in the “right” pants for daddy and just packed the jeans instead which meant Levi still had to wear them. This time when we moved back to Wisconsin over a year ago I left off trying to help Levi please his dad. Why the hell should he have to wear blue jeans when they irritate his legs just so a bunch of old foggies can feel comfortable around him. I put his blue jeans up for when Kyle gets that size. Still, buying sweats and other comfortable pants for the long legged growing boys is a challenge. He often ends up with high water pants. He doesn’t care but I do try. At least he doesn’t go on about his socks and jacket. Sadly, Kyle just got into the sock issue.You know the part where the sock is sown together at the top? Well, that part recently started bothering him. I remember there were times that bothered me as well. I think it’s a normal issue many folks have off and on. I just hope Kyle gets over it soon cause it’s already hard to get him out the door as it is.

bee_positive_mousepad

I do have a ton to be thankful for one, well, that’s actually more then one. Things always work out at the last minute and one day soon that will change to things work out right away. (I’m being positive.) There are places around here that help out with things like food and clothes that I can contact. It’s going to get better. Patience is my friend. ( I need to keep repeating that last one.)

patience

Thursday 10/24/13

Yesterday after attending the lunch with the pastor event held weekly at the church ( Such a good idea!) I went to the local panty. They didn’t have milk and lactose free milk and such but they had cereal, caned food, breads and some over ripe fresh produce. So it was helpful. The local panty also has a very cheep thrift store and when you pick up food there they give you a coupon for the thrift shop. They gave me a $3 one. I was hoping I would find a good winter jacket in there so as soon as I was done loading the food they gave me into the car I went in to the thrift shop to see. I found a giant purple very faux fir fully lined jacket with a hood. Even though it’s old fashioned and way to big it was too cute and fun and warm to pass up so I bought it. Kyle was with me and found a little fifty cent trinket. The jacket was $4. I ended up paying $1.06 for both items. When I put it on outside Kyle told me I looked like the person in the Kids Bop commercial singing “I got twenty dollars in my pocket.” You know, the Thrift Shop song. That cracked me up cause he was right!

poppin tags

A friend back in Plover and I were chatting and she told me I ought to come over and do laundry at her home. I thanked her and told her it was a toss up between using my last $20 doing laundry, getting some groceries (like milk) to get us through to the 1st or gas, which I would need to visit her. She then suggested I use the money for gas to get to her place cause then I wouldn’t have to pay to do laundry and she wanted to buy me some groceries and it wouldn’t be a problem. I’m not a user and I know she has been through a lot so receiving can be very uncomfortable for me but it’s not just for me but for the kids as well and I knew I needed to receive this blessing. So yesterday I did the laundry, got groceries and enjoyed the day in the company of a lovely friend.

BB_CXS8CMAAaDfp

beingpositivequotes

law-of-attraction-affirmations

(Thanks to a little neighbor kid for taking Kyle and my picture so I could do the ‘poppin tags’ collage. The rest of the pics I found on Google images. )

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It was a very difficult couple of weeks. Just when I thought it couldn’t get worse, it would do just that.

Retiring from the Military
—————————————-

I’ve been divorced about three years now. My ex has had the child support cut automatically from his bank all this time. Now that he’s retired everything has changed. I wish there had been someone to tell him or even me about the difficulties retiring from the military would cause. It’s not just us, it’s common issues that happen to many military retirees and their families even ex’s.  He retired in California which apparently has the largest amount of military retiring so it takes them a very long time to process the new paperwork and start sending the checks.  Meanwhile I guess the former military member is expected to already have a good job in order to keep paying their bills and for their home. Actually, I don’t think they think about that sort of thing. It’s a shame too cause these people put their life on hold and on the line for our country for over twenty years and then instead of being well taken care of when they retire they can often end up in the poor house. You could judge them and say they should have saved up or gotten a job secured before getting out. And maybe you were in their shoes and did just that. But really, there are so many people who are not good at finances and are not able to secure a job and sometimes things happen that drain their savings. That doesn’t mean their hard earned retirement money should be kept from them for several months. That is just not fair, it’s not right and it needs to be dealt with.

Pic from google images.

What about the families who have to suffer along with the retiree? In my case I’m an ex, I have custody of our four children. I am supposed to be getting child support and I am supposed to receive a portion of his retirement. It’s not my fault that he doesn’t have several months of child support saved up while he waits on his check and it’s not our kids fault, but we get the whip lash of retirement right along side him.

He paid what he owed on child support at first. Of course he hadn’t made his preplanned trip to Jordan yet. The checks were late then they got later then finally he only paid half. We decided to start going through the local child support agency. I’ll go on about this in a moment but first more on retirement.

DFAS sent me a letter saying they needed a copy of my divorce decree even though they likely already have it, so I faxed it. Then they wrote and said they needed the marriage certificate so they could prove we had been married long enough, so I faxed that too. Then they wrote again saying they needed the amount I was supposed to receive from an official source so I re-faxed them the page on which the divorce decree has the formula written out. Then I received a letter saying I need to send the amount from an official document stating the amount, so I called. I just made that phone call today. The man told me that I have to call the Freedom of Info Act or get a lawyer to call for me and get my ex’s pay info and then take the info and the divorce decree and marriage cert. to a near by court house and have either a Clerk of Courts or a Judge make a clarified order and then fax that officially signed document to them. I called the Freedom of Info Act and got a mail box that was full. I’ll try again tomorrow.

Child Support
——————

I had tried to get the child support agency to handle things for us when I lived in Kalamazoo, Michigan and again when I lived in Springfield, Missouri. Both times they wanted me to call Hawaii and then the crazy run around thing would happen and I gave up.

So, here I was trying again in Chili, Wisconsin and this time with the help of the kids dad. We applied for CS in Wisconsin. I was told again I had to contact Hawaii CS. I called them and they told me that because we never went through CS there we didn’t have a case file and they had nothing to do with us so there was no need to go through them or even contact them. I informed my county of this and they attempted to proceed. DFAS, the department that handles the military finances, out of the blue took the next child support payment out of the kids dads check and sent him a letter stating that was what they were doing. The money never appeared anywhere so I began to call after hunting down the correct phone number. They like to keep that hidden. They told me they sent the money to Hawaii’s child support. I called Hawaii. Hawaii said they didn’t have it. I visited my local CS and they attempted to contact Hawaii as well but only got answering services or people who didn’t have answers. I made many many more phone calls and many visits to my local CS to no avail. Finally I got ahold of a lady with Hawaii’s CS and she informed me that they did indeed have the money right after telling me they didn’t. Then she explained that I would need to open a case file with them before the money could be released either to me or to my local CS. So I did just that. Naturally, it’s never that easy. I had to send a few faxes with “missing” information first.  After getting all the info to them she informed me of more complications and suggested I tell them to tell accounting to send the money back to DFAS and then have the kids dad retrieve it from them. So I did and informed my ex. He made some calls and learned DFAS didn’t allow that and the money would still be with Hawaii. I did receive a letter from Hawaii with my case info so my next step is to once again call Hawaii. Yes, I still do not have that money at this point.

Meanwhile
—————

So, last month I had to make that dreadful call to my landlady and tell her I didn’t know when I would be able to pay my rent. She and her brother own this house they inherited from their Grandpa who built it. They are still paying a mortgage on it. I explained that my ex hadn’t paid half his child support yet and that he told me he would pay it when he got his income tax back. I also told her I was looking into getting housing assistance to help and was waiting on the child support the military had taken but sadly I couldn’t pin-point a date when any money would actually be in my hand.She told me her mortgage was due by the 10th and I told her that a soon as I got any money she would be on the top of my priority list and I would get the rent to her.

Later my ex informed me that she has called his parents and went on about him not being responsible. His mom laid into her about how her son paid his child support faithfully every month and told her an untrue and much higher amount that he pays and how I took a trip to Michigan and so on. My ex felt bad about this and told me it would be ok with him if I gave my landlady his number and he could try to set some things straight which I did and she did call him.  When ever she talked to me, pretty much everyday for a few days, she would ask me the same questions at least three times each. I felt bad enough not paying her what I promised but gosh, after being asked the same set of questions over and over again I began to feel harassed.

Emotionally speaking…
———————————

I did very well emotionally for a while. Sure, it was difficult but I was not letting it get to me. I believe I shut off some of my emotions so I could cope and not fall apart. During this time my boyfriend had his own issues and stopped talking to me for a little while. I didn’t handle that so well. I wouldn’t have handled it well anyway but already going through hell made it that much worse. Men apparently do that, they all do, or all the men I’ve ever dated. When they have a hard time they stop communicating. Then when they are better they act like nothing ever happened and it drives me nuts. And that’s the way the cookie crumbles. lol

found pic at- http://graphicriver.net/item/happy-robot/153274

 Rent resolved
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My boyfriend got his income tax back and offered to loan me enough for rent and my daughters birthday etc. I was able to pay rent on the ninth, a day before my landlady said she needed to pay her mortgage. I didn’t have much to say to her and I won’t talk to my ex-in laws. I will let it go one of these days but I have enough to deal with right now and I don’t feel like listening to my ex’s mom go on about what happened. When my ex got his income taxes back he paid me the money he owed which I sent to my boyfriend and he paid me half for the current month.

And, that’s not all…
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During all this I have been seeing a doctor about my stomach pains. The med. doctor came to one conclusion, the OBGYN came to anothe,r then gasto. doctor came to another conclusion. The gasto doc believes it could be just stress, but has me scheduled to have a scope stuck down my throat to be sure. The other two doctors think it’s my gall bladder but the gastro doc gets to play with my body first.

pic found on google images

I also had a mammogram. It was my very first one. I’m 41 so I’m really a year late on having this done. I remember thinking while getting ready to have pics taken of the inside of my boobs how nice it is that at least my breast are fine.

Then, I got a call back…

To be continued…

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