Posts Tagged ‘Christian’

3/17/18 & 3/26/18


My St. Patties Day Poem
By Lorenakoran

On this fair eve of this fair day

when the green is worn

and on display

and friends cheer

and dance and sway

while throwing back beer

For this green holiday


I think of the pagans across the lake

and wish them well

And may their so called snakes

return to them

and once again be free

to worship whom so ever

they want and please


We celebrate a man

And make him a saint

Who with vengeance in hand

Murdering whom he pleased

While converting pagans

Whom likely couldn’t sleep

For fear of their oppressor

Their new master and priest


st patricks kiss my butt

Personally, I don’t celebrate St. Patrick. I’m also not a Catholic. I do, however, like holidays, sometimes. Some people complain that holidays are just consumerism, and that’s pretty true. It’s also why I really don’t mind having holiday fun. I don’t take it seriously. Sure, the history behind it sucks. But now days, at least in the US, it’s pretty much about celebrating the Irish, wearing green, and getting drunk.
I have some Irish in me from my dads side and some Scotch Irish in me from my moms side. So I like the idea of wearing both green and orange.
I love the folk music that comes from Ireland and some of the more contemporary music. The troubles they went through really show up in the more contemporary music making it very deep and emotional and beautiful. If you want a crash course about Ireland’s civil unrest read one of Malcolm Gladwell’s books. I think it’s in his book titled David and Goliath. But in case I’m wrong just read all of them. May as well.

I’d really love to see Ireland and Scotland one day. That would be awesome!


Written on 3/17/18 & 3/26/18.



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If you’ve read my blog you already know I’ve had to deal with chronic sleep paralysis for a large portion of my life. For those who haven’t I’ll give you a brief history.


It started when I was under the age of nine. I don’t actually know how young I was but I was old enough to remember it. Of course it was traumatic so it’s no wonder I remember. That first episode took place while we still lived in the house in Orange County. I don’t recall having any more episodes there but it’s possible I forgot. I do remember them being what I call chronic sometime after moving on the boat.

My dad said he had them as a child as well along with vivid nightmares that he sometimes would end up sleepwalking with. So, I’m not sure it was actually sleep paralysis for him or not. But I do know sleep paralysis can lead to very vivid nightmares. I was also a sleep walker but that was not attached to the sleep paralysis episodes for me.

Through out my teens I had the most episodes of sleep paralysis. My mother discovered that it often happened after she and my sister had a fight, which was often. So she suggested the two of them make up before going to sleep so I wouldn’t have the “attack”. And when I say attack, I mean “demonic attack” because that is what she believed it was. She thought that because I was being targeted because I was the youngest and most vulnerable.


So, most my life I dealt with sleep paralysis as though it were demonic attacks. And as you’ve likely figured out already, that idea makes them so much worse.


For those who don’t know what sleep paralysis is, I’ll explain real quick. It’s when the chemical in you body that causes you to not act out your dreams doesn’t recede in time so you wake while it’s still present which means you are temporarily paralyzed until it finished receding. The best way I know of to handle it is to relax and let it finish receding. It’s a time you can use to just chill or even play with it. While in that state you can also lucid dream. Since you are still in a dream like state you can fly, jump high, and do whatever amazing thing you like cause there are no laws of gravity and so on to stop you. Fighting it wears you out, it’s better to relax.

When you’ve had years and years of dealing with it as demonic oppression it takes more than a notion to just relax and enjoy the ride. I’ve had to have talks with myself and help myself get out of the nightmare and not fight and take it easy and maybe have some fun.

By the way, I didn’t know the science behind it till a few years ago. Although I stopped believing it was demonic attacks, I really had no idea what was happening so it was still pretty scary.


As a Christian who believed in demons and believed it was demonic attacks , naturally I dealt with it from a “spiritual” aspect. I used my beliefs in Jesus to “overcome” it. Although I was harmfully misinformed I did learn a great deal from these terrifying episodes. Some of the lessons were actually very helpful in real life. But, like I mentioned before, I’ve written about this before and this blog is about my latest experience.

In my twenties and thirties I rarely had sleep paralysis but I did experience it from time to time. After leaving Christianity I still automatically reverted to my religious way of dealing with it. It was a life time habit. Those things don’t just go away. When I have several not far apart from each other I stop dealing with them religiously and do what I know is better and  more effective. I don’t really enjoy it most of the time though. There’s been some exceptions. When I don’t have it for long periods of time I revert to my default settings of fighting it with religious ideas. However, my brain always has a conversation with me about it in the dream state and reminds me that I no longer believe in such myths. It’s actually always quite an interesting conversation I have with myself. Lol! Once I do fully wake up I find it very interesting and entertaining, and I usually learn something new.

Okay! So, here’s my latest sleep paralysis experience.

It happened about three nights ago. I was dreaming about something and in the dream I laid down to rest. While laying there I felt a presence start to lay on top of me, a freaky scary presence. This is a common start to sleep paralysis for many people, btw. Even folks who are not spiritual.


My automated system came online so I called out to Jesus to help me. Then I heard a voice challenge me by reminding me that I didn’t believe in Jesus. I playfully challenged back, “Yeah, but he was a nice guy!” Not that I believe in him, I was having fun challenging the voice back. Of course the voice was my own, and I do challenge myself awake, so it’s no surprise that I would do it in my sleep state as well. Than Satan was brought up. I shrugged and said I didn’t believe in Satan. I than started singing a fun church song. I was challenged about that as well but I ignored the challenge. I decided that as long as it made me feel better it didn’t matter. Singing has always helped me deal with fear. It gives me courage and helps me think things through.

And thinking is exactly what I did. I thought about hypnotism and how people use the “one, two, three, wake up” method to bring people out of it. I wondered if that would work for me. I decided to give it a try and right away started the count. While counting my mind reminded me that one had to be told to do it first in order for it to work. Not that I’m an expert, I’m far from that… Or am I? Lol!  But I was already in the count so I finished it with the “wake up”. When I finished I felt a jolt on my right side by my eye area as if that area had dislodged from the paralysis. I’m not saying it did, just that that’s how it felt.  So, this time I told myself that when I counted to three and said “wake up”I was to wake up. I counted, I said “wake up,” and immediately my eyes opened and I was fully awake.

Yeah, I was actually shocked. But happy. It was just so strange yet cool. The science behind it? Well, I’m sure there is some but I don’t know what it is yet. The brain is so very interesting. It’s possible anything would have worked because maybe the paralysis chemical had already receded. Or, maybe not and there more to it. Even if it did receded already, waking one self from the dream state can still be difficult. Possibly the hypnosis thing worked for that.  I’d love to know! I’m sure there are folks that will still try to attach something spiritual to this. To them I will “smile and wave” and keep learning the real facts instead of the alternative “facts” .


I don’t look forward to trying it again. I don’t look forward to having sleep paralysis period. Though I know one can have fun with it, I have too much baggage, lol. It’s more than just dealing with it, it’s also dealing with my past which makes it tasking. But, I do enjoy the stuff I learn and experience when they are over. It’s really quite interesting.


I thought this pic was funny. And funny thing about it, after mentioning to my daughter that I had a sleep paralysis episode she said it was likely due to the cat sleeping on me. The cat didn’t actually do that, but it’s still funny.

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Blog started Sunday 3/12/17.
There’s a lot of abused folks out there. Even the ones that have healed and are doing fine often still have triggers. PTSD isn’t just a military thing.
Religion is a common cause of stress disorders. While it provides hope for some it causes both mental and physical harm for others. Well meaning people often make the matter worse. They think they are reaching out to people offering them hope, and while this may help some, it actually does the opposite for others
When you “share” how great your god is and all he’s doing for you and those around you with people who have been abused with religion, you are not helping them, you are hurting them. You are pushing the trigger button over and over. Then, you wonder why they are so angry. Anyone who’s “buttons” are pushed over and over and over again will most likely “blow up” or as folks like to use on atheists, become angry.
Normally I’m all about coexisting. I understand there are a lot of folks out there who hold onto their religion for cultural reason and community reasons and many who feel they need it. I’m fine with all that as long as it’s not causing any harm to anyone. However, this evening if religion were a person I would have murdered it.
Blog continued Thursday 3/16/17.
Although I’m over it and back to my version of normal, I haven’t forgotten. I can still feel the frustration. I’m just not angry right now. But the issue is still an issue.
Although I suspected the kids and I likely have PTSD, I never really faced the issue. That is until Levis psychiatrist let me know, with out me ever mentioning it to him, that the kids and I have it. I was surprised at my reaction, after all I should have been prepared for that. But I wasn’t. I think I was actually avoiding it and he made me face it. It didn’t feel good. I even cried. Later I laughed. Talk about a slew of emotions. Even after laughing I wasn’t happy about it, I was frustrated. It just felt so unfair. Not just for me but more so for my kids.
I do know from experience that as difficult as it can be to be diagnosed, it has the great potential of having more benefits than not. Once you understand why you or your family members or friends act and react a certain way you can move on and learn how to work with what you or they have and improve and use the talents that may come with it and help others and get the help you need from services and such. The big benefit is understanding why you do, feel, and think the way you do. Understanding yourself really makes a big difference in healing and improving.
So, this Sunday the acknowledgement of the PTSD did help me understand my emotional reaction to the previous days. From Friday all the way through Sunday I was affected by other peoples religion. One was a friends Catholicism and the other was my moms United Pentecostal type way of being.  Neither of them meant me any harm and I love both people. One was just trying to please her parents by being where they wanted her to be cause they were out of town. Going to mass and or church can be more superstitious than going because you need encouragement, community and wisdom.
As far as my mom, she attempted to leave me texts about what god was doing through her. I may be wrong, but I felt intent, not just sharing and conversing. Like maybe she read or saw something I posted and wanted to try to “fix” me. I had posted a few atheist meme’s on my Facebook wall, so that could be it.  When she learned that only one of her text went through she decided to just tell me all about it on a phone call. It was a very long dialog about how god was using her and speaking through her and answering her prayers. The result? Hallelujah! I’m now magically “saved.” Thank you Jesus! I now know, again, that everyone else in the world that believes and has the any “evidence” and hope and “proof” and all from their god(s) is wrong. Us European type people are the only right people on earth. Our religion is correct and every one else is wrong. Our god is superior and everyone else is a myth. Yep, it doesn’t matter that everything in the Bible was taken from different religions, nope, it’s all true cause a bunch of white men said they were empowered by the holy ghost and so it’s true even when it’s proven not to be. So, praise the Lort! I’m just gonna throw common sense and being awake and aware out the window and trade it in for the shackles and nonsensical rules and regulations of a god who can do anything and every thing and knows all but won’t feed the masses of starving people, not even the starving babies in their mothers arms who are so malnourished their bodies can’t produce any milk. Now there’s a good idea! I mean, after all, it’s clear in Genesis that we are not supposed to know  “the knowledge of good and evil”, cause if we did we would realize that man made gods, not the other way around.
Let me set this straight, in case you are getting my drift incorrectly. I Was Not Mad At God. I can’t be made at him/her/them. Why? Because I don’t believe him/she/they exist. Who was I mad at? People and their superstitions! And the poisonous ideas they shove down your throat, nose, ears and even up your butt, thinking they are helping you.
Folks, it’s not helping, it’s hurting. You hurt people with your religion and then you wonder why they are angry when you are responsible for triggering them. But no, it can’t be your fault, you were just sharing the love of Jesus. It’s got to be them, if they only would listen and give their lives over to your god then they would be set free from the things oppressing them. Dude! Stop, you are the one oppressing them. You want to help them? Than stop with the religious vomit!
I want people to heal too. I want them to recover and lose their “buttons” over time.  I am aware that pushing their buttons over and over doesn’t make the buttons go away, it makes them worse and adds to them. Maybe there are some exceptions, but the majority of people will not get better this way. Become aware of the fact that a person may have been religiously abused and back off with trying to feed them your beliefs. You can be friends with people with PTSD. You can love them and you can help them. I am not writing this blog about how to help them at this time, I’m just writing to wake folks up to the possibility that their religious “help” may be doing more harm than good.  There are a lot of good online articles out there about how to help people without using religion.
So, back to last weekend. By Sunday night I was angry. I get frustrated and depressed at times, but anger isn’t something I usually feel for prolonged periods of time. So I was curious about myself and why I felt so angry. I realized it was a PTSD reaction, that my buttons had been repeatedly pushed, the PTSD had been triggered. So I let myself let it out. Not on anyone, but alone, in my car. I had a good couple hollers while driving. No one could hear me so no police were called, lol! I just had to release some tension. I didn’t feel awesome after that, but I do think that’s when I started to recover from it all. The next day I was grateful that I didn’t have to work. I felt like crap till late afternoon. I think the stress of the previous days physically took a toll. But like I mentioned, I felt better as the day progressed. By the evening I felt fine so on Tuesday I was ready and good to go for work.
I know my mom loves me. I also know she gets caught up in her head, we all do at one time or another. I don’t mind hearing an occasional tale of how “god” has done this or that. It brings her happiness and I’m glad for her. But to go on and on and think it’s gonna convert me is just plain annoying and when I’ve already had a tasking couple of days, it’s harmful. My mom isn’t alone in this way of thinking and acting, not by a long shot. Which is why I am writing this, maybe someone will care and understand and make the changes because it not only makes sense, but because it’s love.
I would like to add that how I felt doesn’t describe how others with PTSD may feel. How it affects people can differ. Even our own reactions and feelings can be different for different circumstances. And some folks do find comfort in religion and religious ideas. It’s just good to not assume or think cause it helps you or you’re told it does that you should use it to “help” others.  Be careful and don’t assume. This blog barely touches on what PTSD is and what religious induced PTSD is. (Also known as Religious Trauma Syndrome (RTS).)It would be kind of you to research and learn more about it. Most likely you have and will have friends, family and associates that have it.
If you or someone you know is suffering from religious trauma or maybe just needs someone nonjudgmental to talk to, here’s a web site to a hot line that has people ready to listen. Just click here-
sparta aaa

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Written by Daniel Reid Stadler. 

Some people claim atheist have no morals or atheists are selfish. Here’s my story. I was raised in a Missouri Lutheran Synod household. My uncle is a pastor, his lot in the church is to raise up church attendance. His sermons are some of the best writing I’ve ever read and he can bring an entire congregation to tears or joy in a few minutes. I was fully prepared to follow his footsteps and become a pastor myself because I deeply love humanity and want to help in any way I can. My personal faith, was similar to most people. I felt and believed God was love. And his son, Jesus Christ was the embodiment of love in human form. To be a Christian meant loving everyone and I also believed that if you love something or someone it must be allowed to follow its own path unless it is interfering with someone else. Over the years I’ve also learned about many other religions and most believers feel the same about their God. They may have different beliefs about freedom and personal choice but their God(s) are reflections of their own feelings about the world and humanity. Over the course of my spiritual journey I have come to realize that the Christian God is not a God of love. And that I can be a more loving person if I am honest with myself and everyone around me. I still believe loving your neighbor is the way to live your life. I don’t believe in the stories passed down by religious leaders from 2000+ years ago. I believe in humanity and the goodness everyone has in them at birth. Life can damage a person and change their view but we are all born perfect. As members of humanity we must care for all people especially the children. I care too much to believe a god exists who would allow the suffering I see everyday. If he/she does exist then that deity is not a god of love but is instead a god of pain and suffering. I don’t care how eternal and great the afterlife could be. I wouldn’t stand by and watch the suffering individual people go through and not act. Somehow an all powerful, all knowing, all aware deity allows this because heaven? That’s messed up. In the words of John Lennon, “I just believe in me…. And that’s reality.” I believe I have an obligation to help and show the love I feel for other people. Secular humanism requires caring for others and placing their needs before your own. Not because in the afterlife I will be granted something great. But because it is the right thing to do.

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A dove in the sky (Image found on Google Images)


It’s good to remember and keep in mind that your spiritual experiences are not only found within your own belief system but are found in all belief systems. Just as right as you believe you are, others in their beliefs systems know they are right as well, and that you are misled. You may believe their spiritual experiences are deceptions from their carnal mind or are even demonic, but keep in mind, they believe the same way about you.

Click on the link below to watch the video.

Spiritual Witnesses


I love that someone put this clip together to show testimonies from people of various belief systems sharing the same experiences that caused them to believe, change for the better, and want to reach out to others. I think it would have also been great if people who were touched and changed by a secular rock concert would have been included as well. Yes, that does happen. Hype, mental manipulation and desperation, etc, can cause the same effect across the board.  But of course, only those converted and touched within your religion are actually being blessed by the only one true way. And that doesn’t have to make sense because when it comes to spirituality, science and reasoning are off the table and no longer apply. So, until one is able to wake from their wishful thinking and brain washed state, reason is a sin.


And to those who are tolerant, accepting and willing to coexist, believing “there is more then one path…” wither I disagree or not, I commend you. You are not “wishy washy” “simple minded”, “wimpy”, “unable to makeup your mind”and other insults religious and non-religious people have thrown at you. It’s okay to accept people the way they are and to be happy for them. This is not a bad thing. It’s also okay to not know something and admit it, that doesn’t make you stupid or dumb. Pretending and convincing yourself you know something and then convincing others of the same is ignorant, arrogant and rude. Peace is good and more effective them hate, division, and other negative things.


Honesty can be good but one must start with themselves to be truly honest. Questioning everything is the “right path”. Feelings are nice and they are human but they should not determine what is true and what is false. Also remember, when you research, don’t just research from within your own belief system. Go outside your belief system as well. And don’t just believe the first thing you read or hear. Questioning and research do not stop at one or two articles, blogs or personal testimonies. Also remember to appreciate the feelings but to take them out of the proof equation since feelings can be triggered and manipulated. Even testimonies like those of healing, healing is not restricted to that persons belief system. If you can handle it you may even push further and look for reasons these things could have happened without a “miracle”. Take into account that a lot of people lie. Even nice people you trust may be prone to lie about certain things. But there are still plenty of others who are not lying but do not understand the science behind what has happened to them, therefore to them it is a legitimate miracle.


If you are the type that believes you need your religion, then stay with it, but, don’t be a jerk about it. If your belief system is actually good for you, (in other words, you are not being controlled, abused, and told to take your own life or another’s or sticking with it out of misplaced pride) then stay with it but accept and even fellowship with people who believe differently then you. It’s good for you, good for your community and good for the world. And by all means, speak up and encourage others to do the same so that the out spoken Fundies don’t keep getting all the attention. We need more people to help other people to get along peacefully without tying to change folks to their spiritual way of thinking.

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Poll –   The Merry Christmas Controversy.


I have been seeing FaceBook posts and meme’s and pictures being shared regarding non-Christians and Atheists being offended by people saying “Merry Christmas”. There are also still the posts, yard signs and bumper sticker signs saying “put Christ Back in Christmas” as well.

I am friends to people of all kinds of different walks of life, Christians, Pagans, Atheists, Muslims, Buddhists and so on. I myself an am atheist. I have read some obnoxious troll like comments from Atheists and Christians on Atheist and Christian debate group sites. It seems those type of site attract the idiots so I don’t hang out there. But as far as people I know and FaceBook friends it seems the “war on Christmas” is Christian propaganda to cause dissension and keep people from living in peace with each other. Most likely it’s the fundie Christians but the more positive Christians share and spread their Christmas propaganda as if it were true. If the sign actually started with a group like Westboro Baptist Church and the churches name was written in bold on it and it included something negative about American Veterans other Christians would likely not share it but would be against it. However, these propaganda signs do not list fundi churches like Westboro and people have a need to feel persecuted so it appeals to them and they hit the share button without fact checking and then get offended when someone disagrees or challenges them.

If I have been describing you, think about it. Why would someone make a sign about non-Christians trying to take Christ out of Christmas and about people trying to get rid of the “Merry Christmas” greeting? Sounds to me like they are trying to get you riled up and to feel persecuted so they can bring division in our country and promote hate instead of love.

If you are one of the folks who is offended when someone doesn’t say “Merry Christmas” to you but says a different greeting or a blessed holiday greeting from a different belief system then I suggest you do some internal searching. Who is really persecuting who? Who is actually being offensive? Doesn’t it sound sketchy that you want others to accept your holiday greeting but you are offended by theirs?

Sometimes we humans get like this slowly and we get caught up in fads and don’t realize we have lost our love and our peace. We don’t realize we are passing someone else agenda along and promoting it. Humans do that, it’s natural. Which is why I am writing this, to encourage you to stop and think about what you are really helping to spread. Sometimes hate and dissension are wrapped up in words that sound right. But the underlying tone is still hate and dissension.

And as far those who really are persecuting Christians, as well as other religions and Atheism, (yes, other beliefs and non-beliefs get persecuted too) spreading popular lies (or any lies and propaganda) is not going to help them or stop them. Truth is, the best weapon is love. I don’t always like that idea, some folks are just so annoying, but it is much more effective wither one likes it or not.

So instead of sharing posts about how people are trying to take your beliefs away from you, consider sharing or making posts about how you love folks regardless of what they believe and that you hope the best for them. It’s a much better testimony and a much better tool to spread peace and love.


Hope and love reason for the season


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Are they really “shoving it down your throat?” Or could this be a matter of perspective.

-Poetic style-

cognitive-dissonance (1)

If you don’t believe it, then just leave it,” that’s what they like to say. What they mean is, “shut up, stop speaking your mind unless it agrees with me.” Tell the truth, be honest, never tell a lie, but suddenly that changes when the truth is exposing their lie.

The religious, the right wing, or so they are called, like to appear good, all American, positive and full of hope. Until their ideas are challenged and someone dares to disagree.

They want to live free to speak what they may, to enjoy who they are in the light of day and never let anyone take it away. But when someone starts to share their ideas that go against their belief, to live a different lifestyle without shame, they jump to take their freedom away.

They claim it’s shoving it down their throat, that people are trying to force them to accept something they don’t believe in. When really the others just want the same freedoms, the same opportunities, and the ability to live without shame true to themselves the way they are.

It’s not really so difficult to understand, the idea is simple, not misleading. But humans get old with their ideas fast. When new information comes along, if it doesn’t fit what they have already established then it’s rejected and colored bad.

The older generation can’t let go while the younger folks don’t know how to make a stand. It’s a paradox that can be solved with courage and better learning. While it won’t happen in a night, the time being taken is rather a fright.

Stop assuming you’re a victim, stop believing your being persecuted, stop seeing other peoples plight for freedom as an assault on your own beliefs and so called conservative life choices. Make yourself step back, challenge yourself to see though other people eyes, start being part of the solution instead of a toxic wall of fearful agitation lashing out at what some day will be your own protection.

– Lorenakoran

Props to Heina for this blog inspiration.  https://www.facebook.com/heinadadabhoy

Heina Dadabhoy quote



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