Feeds:
Posts
Comments

Posts Tagged ‘heterosual’

Love, Ellen A Mother/Daughter Journey
by Betty DeGeneres
A Book Review By Lori

What a lovely delightful book.

Betty starts off taking the reader on a journey through her New Orleans style childhood. Though my parents childhood was different it’s close to the same era and brought back memories of the stories they told.

Betty, like myself, is a self examiner. She goes through her relationship history not only to tell her story but to help us understand why she reacted the way she did to various situations and to show how far she has come. Again like myself, she doesn’t just retell the stories to get attention and entertain, but to help others who can relate.

Later in the book she delves into her activism. She never set out to be an activist. It pretty much “fell in her lap” and she took up the gauntlet and went with it blessing all those in her wake.

Betty is often know as “Every Mom” and when getting to know her through her book one tends to want to adopt her. I appreciate her open gentle honesty and humble wisdom. This book is good for everyone to read and or hear.

Quotes from Love, Ellen A Mother/Daughter Journey by Betty DeGeneres

Prologue – Page 12

Coming out has been described as an earthquake that shakes the world not only of the person coming out but of everyone around him or her. It has also been described as less a declaration of sexuality to the rest of the world than a personal act of self-love. It is, without a doubt, a discovery of self and a rite of passage that should be celebrated – not only because your daughter or son has taken this courageous step toward being her or his own person, but because you are being given an opportunity to do the same.

Chapter 1 – Page 48 & 49

It was that remarkable woman, Helen Keller, who said that in the ancestry of every king can be found a slave, and in that of every slave, a king. A leveling thought, but true. Between those great differences in status is the vast army of men and woman who are our ancestors – each a contribution to what we are today and each life a story in itself.

In other words, we’re all related. We’re all family. Thank God for our differences.

Chapter 2 – Page 76

I countered, “Lots and lots of gay men and women are Christians and believers.” That brought the discussion to an end. After the caller signed off, I added another observation saying, “The Bible – or rather, the interpretation of the Bible – has been used through the years for whatever purposes certain groups have had. Scripture was used to condone slavery. It was used to keep woman from having the vote. And now it is being used vociferously for this purpose.”

Chapter 8 – Page 223

When an interviewer in Maine asked her about the rigors of touring and why she had decided to take breaks from stand-up, El answered very seriously:

I’ve learned that in life, it’s very important to be happy. If you do something that you’re not happy doing – no matter how much you try to fake it – that will eat you up from the inside, that’ll kill you.

Chapter 9 – Page 265

Many families, I was finding out, have a conspiracy of silence – not because of lack of love but because of lack of skill at talking. Ant not talking about being gay means staying in the closet. What’s wrong with staying in the closet? I knew that from Ellen DeGeneres – Ellen Morgan: It’s suffocating. Gay men and women have the same right to be out in the open, breath the same air, as any of us.

Chapter 10 – Page 313 & 314

To me, the true porfamily stance would be to recognize that what children need is a parent or two parents, who love them unconditionally, who give them a safe, loving home filled with joy and laughter and mental stimulation. Furthermore, unlike heterosexual couples, who often have unplanned pregnancies, gay couples must go to a greater deal of trouble to become parents. Their children are truly wanted, and they are part of a true family.

Since many dysfunctional, abusive households have a mother and a father present, it’s clear that being heterosexual is not necessarily a qualification for being a good parent.

Chapter 10 – Page 318

And they call themselves Christians? How could they be so heartless? How could so many have gone so far afield from the teachings of the One they profess to follow?

The activist Paul Monette wrote of “a world that wallows in holy wars and ethnic bloodbaths.” Regarding the movement toward greater visibility for gays and lesbians, he told of a friend who was “worried about the backlash, having an instinct for the savageries of which religion is capable” Monette used the term “Stepford Christians” and Christian Supremacists.”

Chapter 11 – Page 332 & 333

Why should I have to know other people’s sexual practices? You shouldn’t. And this is where people get confused. When you learn that someone you know is homosexual, you don’t know anything about his or her sexual practices. That is strictly none of our business – just as your own sexual practices are no ones else’s business. I’ve heard it said that with the word heterosexual” the accent is on “hetero” and with the word “homosexual” the accent “sexual.” What a shame that we, as a society, are so hung up on this. After so many generations, we are still, deep down, puritanical. Puritanical and hung up on sex – what a combination! I’m positive that for a committed, loving homosexual couple, sex is no more or less important than it is for a committed, loving heterosexual couple.

Not long ago, I heard the great writer Toni Morrison being interviewed on 60 Minutes. As an African-American, she said, “When you know somebody’s race, what do you really know about them? Nothing.” How true and this can be applied to sexuality. When you know somebody’s sexuality, what do you really know about them? Nothing. It should be just a fact and should not enter into the equation of the sum of that person.

Chapter 11 – Page 341

Is it possible to have a healthy dialog between people who disagree? As an incurable optimist, I’d say yes. And the old saying “You can disagree without being disagreeable” might be a good starting place. Also, respect helps tremendously – self respect and respect for others and their beliefs.

The qualities needed to accept diversity are the same qualities needed for a healthy dialogue about differences of any kind – race, religion, orientation, ideology, or whatever we can imagine that divides us. “Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves. “

Epilogue – Page 364

Not long ago, I was inspired by a short piece by Robert J. Hastings called “The Station.” He uses a train as a metaphor for our journey through life. He says that like many passengers on trains, instead of enjoying the sights and the scenery along the way, we think only of getting to the station – the station being, “when I get a promotion,” “when I pay off the mortgage,” “when I meet Prince Charming,” and so on. Hastings speaks of the importance of realizing that there is no station, that “the true joy of life is the trip.” What an important message.

Advertisements

Read Full Post »