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Posts Tagged ‘you complete me’

You complete me…yourself!

Many people enter a relationship with the hidden idea that their partner will complete them or make them whole. It’s an unfair and impossible burden to place on others. It may actually seem to be working for a while but eventually it will fall through. Everyone grows, changes, gets stuck and even regress at times, some more so in one way than another.

Whatever it be, whatever you’re partner has that makes you feel complete isn’t always going to be there for you. They may be with you, but as humans they cannot constantly be giving out and neither can you. Affairs are just one of the many downfalls of this misconception. When one no longer feels whole they start looking for a replacement even when they don’t realize it. If they find a replacement it is not because they no longer love their old partner or the new replacement is better looking or smarter or any thing of that nature. It’s because they are not whole. If they leave and take the new person on as a partner, if they are still not whole in themselves, the cycle will start all over again. It isn’t always a person, it can be a job, hobby and other such things as well.

Only you can make yourself whole. It’s like a puzzle. The first piece is knowing you need to be a whole person without anyone else. After that it takes time to find the correct pieces and fit them in just right. Sometimes we may try to force a wrong piece and need to stop, step back and be humble enough to admit it is either in wrong or it just doesn’t belong. Having an incorrect or ill fitted puzzle piece can mess many other things up later and cause great frustration. We may even have a piece we just don’t know what to do with. Set the information aside and wait till you have a better understanding, it will come. Take your time becoming you, you are an important master piece.

There are people who believe what has worked for them must work for everyone and insist you put all their puzzle pieces into your life puzzle. What happens then is you lose your self and become a downgraded replica of them. This is something I have personal experience with. When I realized it I threw everything out and started over. I’m not saying that is what is best for everyone, obviously, but it is what worked for me. Slowly and carefully I started re-accepting things that fit. For a while the things that I had gotten rid of that didn’t fit caused me a sense of bitterness but in time even that faded until I was able to accept that I learned from it and though I won’t make the same mistakes again, I will use my memories to better myself and help others.

Just because it’s not right to turn others into our own replica doesn’t mean we shouldn’t share our knowledge and experiences. Holding back information is just as harmful as pushing information. Putting it out there and then letting the other person or people decide what they want to do with it or what they need from it is their responsibility. You’re responsibility is to keep on working on yourself. I didn’t get this concept for a long period of my life. I was certain that if something worked for me it must work for others just the same. I wanted others to get to know my family, my friends, my pastor, my church, the books I read and the inspirational speakers and shows I saw that inspired me. It’s not wrong to want to share positive things in your life, others may be just as inspired, but to think it is the only way and it is the missing puzzle pieces for them is controlling and trying to live life for them. It’s taking take their job away from them and trying to complete them.

If you are a God fearing person then you should remember that trying to “fix” people is God’s responsibility, not yours. If you do not consider yourself a God fearing person, then trying to “fix” someone else is arrogant because you are trying to become their God. Once you have offered your advice or knowledge it’s up to them what they do with it. Nagging will only cause trouble and pain. Don’t feel rejected if they don’t take your advice. It may just be it wasn’t something that would work for them or it may be they need to consider it for a while before deciding how it will fit in their puzzle.

Bright blessings and good luck on your journey to become wholly you!

I always loved the song and lyrics to this song from the movie Brother Son Sister Moon;

The Little Church

Music and lyrics by Donovan P. Leitch
If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely
If you want to live life free
Take your time, go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely

Day by day, stone by stone
Build your secret slowly
Day by day, you’ll grow too
You’ll know heaven’s glory

If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely
If you want to live life free
Take your, time go slowly
Do few things but do them well
Heartfelt work grows purely

Day by day, stone by stone
Build your secret slowly
Day by day, you’ll grow too
You’ll know heaven’s glory

If you want to live life free
Take your time go slowly
If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
If you want your dream to be
Take your time, go slowly
If you want to live life free
Take your time go slowly
If you want to live life free
Take your time go slowly

(lyrics found at – http://donovan-unofficial.com/music/songs/the_little_church.html)

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