My thoughts and memories after watching the video about the Islamic ‘Feminist’ Cult.

Inside The Weird World of an Islamic ‘Feminist’ Cult

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I’m having trouble attaching the video link on here. For now you can click on one of the links bellow and you should be taken to the video by either one. Also, I had trouble with the formatting. I’ll try to remember to go back in and see if i can fix things later. 

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This is a snap shot, not the actual video. The link to the video is bellow.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7bH21w2R0hc&feature=youtu.be&a

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https://youtu.be/7bH21w2R0hc

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Watching the ladies sit there and defend their state of being with a sound of convinced authority that is well rehearsed gave me a sickie feeling. The same with watching them move to the music on cue. I couldn’t quite put a finger on it at the time, so I just chalked it off to how strange it all was…

Until now.

While the cult I was in, for me, wasn’t glamorous. There was no makeup allowed, no pants for woman, those who had money were given church positions and allowed to teach from time to time. Those who didn’t, like me, were expected to take care of everyone else along with tithing and offerings regardless of how it affect the kids and myself. Still, there was something familiar after all.

I remember defending my “church” with the same authoritative conviction. Back then I wouldn’t have agreed that it was rehearsed, but in a way it was. I spent hours, days and weeks in church and Bible study having the prophets teachings drilled into me over and over. Than, I would go over them in my own head and fit the lessons into place like a puzzle securing the cognitive dissonance with a thicker and thicker bubble membrane. So, when challenged, I mean asked, I had it all down pat. I could defend my faith with the same intensity and conviction as that one lady who did the most talking. It felt good, it made me feel strong, and even invincible in a way. No matter how much I was taken advantage of, or how much I was put in my place in front of everyone, or how much it was a struggle to take care of my kids because the leader was sucking the finances out of us, it was those moment that refueled me and made me feel like it was all worth it, that God was working through me, and that was my life’s desire.

 

Then there’s the odd “dancing” to the music. What was so familiar about that? Oh, yeah, we looked way more genuine. Lol! Raising our hands, swaying, closing our eyes, singing and calling out our praises to Jesus and speaking in tongues. I never really did the mad dancing and running around the church like my hair was on fire stuff. But I was happy for most of the folks who did. The ones I wasn’t happy for were the ones faking it. Oh my goodness, if that isn’t judgmental…

I remember this one young lady who, like the rest of us, was being pressured into being filled with the Holy Ghost. One night at a church service she went forward to be “blessed” and ended up braking out into a dance while having hands laid on her.

For those who are not failure with this, it’s where the preacher or evangelist or prophet, apostle, elder, pastor, and so on… would put his hands on a persons head and loudly pray over them for various things like being filled with the Holy Ghost, being delivered from this and that, and so on and on. It gets very intense and usually the person being prayed over gets a jolt of “electricity,” hollers out, maybe spins around, and goes to dancin “in the holy ghost while the congregation applauds and yells things and stomps to the off beat of the super loud rythm and hittin the tambourine to the music. Some of the congregation will get the jolt of electricity feeling and either run out to the isle and start dancing or running or they start jerking back and forth threatening the structure of the pew.

https://goo.gl/images/2pFvaB

So, back to that young lady who started dancin. Later, when we were no longer in the church building and it was just our small group our leader, aka prophet, aka Elder, let into her about fakin it.

Man, I just have to shake my head and pause when I think about this. Not everyone who gets “touched by the holy spirit” is faking, there is this thing called group mentality and a lot of people can be effected by it. Not that it’s actually a spiritual being effecting them, but rather a state of mind. But for those who aren’t affected, well, some feel judged or left out or like they won’t be admired and respected. Thus the faking, and there is a lot of that going on too.

I don’t just feel annoyed by the way that young lady was called out for faking because it’s common to fake it, or just because the person who called her out was using the opportunity to use the incident as a means to dig his claws deeper into our heads, but because letting it all out, wither it’s dancing, running like a crazy person, hollerin out words that are understandable and not understandable is a much better way to get the stress of life out than doing harm. Judging people and calling them out for faking it or doing it wrong, is not okay. Also, I just gotta add, falling on the ground, aka slayn in the spirit, in a place that is well trafficked is just plain stupid. If it really was a good god spirit that was “blessing” you, it wouldn’t lay you out where someone dancing in stilettos might put your eye out, for cryin out loud. So if you’re gonna get touched by the spirit, be it faked or group mentality, as in you might think it’s really the ghost of god, then please proceed with enough of your brain to keep you and others, and the pew, safe from harms way. Thank you.

Back to the trance like dancing while sitting ladies in the video. I remember that sometimes I felt very uncomfortable with what was happening around me. Still, I maintained the “blessed by god” appearance. While singing most of the church songs was fun, raising my hands and really trying to concentrate the Lord Jesus Christ wasn’t. My arms would hurt like crazy, my mind would wander and I would feel so bad about that. It was basically torture. I wanted to please the Lord, but often found myself mentally beating myself up instead. I was sincere, which was the problem. I can understand why those ladies sit there and have poker faces that turn to fake looking smiles as they “dance.” I understand the desire for it all to be real and the mental torture when I fell short. I may not have looked like a Stepford wife, but my mind was trapped just as much as theirs likely is.

Just because they appear to live in affluence doesn’t mean they are happy. To me, they didn’t look genuine. But then again they are from another culture so tale tale signs may be different than what I’m used to. If they really are genuinely happy then that’s wonderful. I doubt it, but I’m okay being wrong.

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In lieu of the recent news reports and articles about Josh Duggar, my friend shared her personal story.

After posting a link  to an article about Josh Dugger and how he molested some underage girls and was never reported on FaceBook a friend of mine (not a minor) told me her story in a personal message. She asked me to share her story and to keep her anonymous.

Her is her story.

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Not to make light of the situation, but I think this is more common than people think, and it is never reported.

When I was 7, my brother did the same to me.

He approached me like we were playing a game, or it was something new he wanted to teach me. I went along with him because big brothers are supposed to be trusted, right?

I remember talking to one of my classmates about it, and her brother was doing the same to her, so I thought it was just a normal thing.

When my parents found out, he was told not to do that ever again, and that was that.

Of course, it did happen gain a time or two, then stopped. If I remember correctly, it was just accepted as early pubescent boys being curious. Maybe they never made a big deal out if it because, while there was nudity and genital contact, there was no penetration. I don’t know.

Honestly, once it stopped, I never really thought much of it again until things about child molestation became more openly discussed on TV.

I am not saying what Josh did was okay, or that the girls were not damaged by this. I am sure, especially in a home where purity is so emphasized, the girls must have felt much shame and guilt. (Purity and sexuality was NEVER EVER discussed in my home).

I just don’t think that all this means that Josh is still an offender. Yes, he should have gotten counseling and been evaluated to find out if he was just a stupid kid or had some kind of psychological disorder, and been dealt with accordingly.

I also don’t think that jail is always the right course of discipline. (Would have to be taken on a case by case basis, based on all the details of the crime and psychological evaluation.) They should be made known the kinds of consequences they face should they continue such behavior. And definitely should NEVER be swept under the rug and forgotten or blown off.

I think, in my case, I think that minimizing the issue was worse. I mean, no, I wold not have wanted my brother to go to jail, and honestly, I am glad the police were not called. I think that would have made me feel like I had done something really bad. I might have been afraid I would go to jail too. I would have also felt guilty for sending my brother to jail. I do wish it had not seemingly been ignored. (Although, that feeling did not come till much later.)

I don’t know what I would have wanted my parents to have done. I did find out many years later that my dad told my brother that if he ever did that again, he would cut it off. That probably was not cool either.

I think it is important that boys and girls have understanding of their bodies (especially as puberty approaches, and they have feelings they may not understand or how to deal with.). Sexuality should be able to be openly discussed without fear of shaming or anything, even if it means a boy (or girl) having to admit to a parent (Or trusted adult) that they are having urges they don’t know how to deal with.

I just would hate to see the idea of Josh being automatically branded an evil person because of this. (He may or may not be, but should not be judged on this incident alone (IMO).

I do think the dad should have dealt with it sooner and more appropriately, for the sake of all involved.

I do hope the girls have, or are recovering from this emotionally.

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If you are interested in the article I shared on my FaceBook page you can see them at  What You Need to Know about the Josh Duggar Police Report by Libby Anne.

                                                            (Picture found on Google Images.)

I am thankful I do not have a story like the young ladies molested by Josh Duggar or like my friends experience. However, I do understand the mentality behind some of it. I was raised in the era and religious background that put shame on the victim.

Therapist and psychologist were demonized by my folks. If someone had a problem we were led to believe they needed to repent and get saved. They may also need to have a demon cast out of them. Further help was to come from church leaders and mothers and fathers of the church. My folks even looked down on professional Christian counselors.

Regarding the idea of shaming the victim, I remember being at the beach with my family as a child and my mom pointing out teen girls or young ladies in bikinis and teaching my sister and I that men often rape woman because of those kind of girls. She would tell us that they may or may not be raped but they would cause another woman who could be dressed decently to be rapped because of what they put in that mans head. She didn’t just keep this between us, often she would find a way to approach the girl and start a conversation with her then lead it into how her lack of clothing could cost her or someone else a horrible tragedy and it would be her fault. Some where in the conversation she would also present “the plan of salvation” and do her best to help the girl repent and ask Jesus to come into her heart. This was a normal day for us at the beach.  I don’t think she spends much time at the beach any more but that doesn’t stop her from starting conversations with ladies at the truck stops or restaurants and so on and doing her best to help them see how their sorts and short skirts cause lust in men and how pants are not something woman are meant to wear and on and on.

I am hoping now that the Dugger’s shit hit the fan people will stop fantasizing about how wonderful the 70’s way of raising kids was and realize the trouble not airing ones dirty laundry actually causes in the long run. The old way of disciplining and raising kids had way to many holes in it. And it pathed a path to make too many excuses for the Christian god.

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