Hannah’s first interview.

Last night was a big night for us. Hannah had her first real job interview.

Last week her school had career day. She was told to come dressed for an interview because they would be teaching the kids about getting jobs and such. Hannah’s dad had bought her some nice black slacks for occasions such as this.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to dress up for anything so I didn’t even think about telling her to try on the clothes the night before. The morning of career day the world fell apart because her nice slacks were way to baggy and looked bad. It would have been an issue for anyone but when you have aspergers like Hannah does, it’s even bigger. After some frustration she found something else nice to wear.

Yesterday morning while Hannah was still lying in bed she threw her hands over her face and told me she was going to fail her job interview. I asked her why she suddenly came to that terrible conclusion. She told me that at career day at school they did a mock job interview and she didn’t know most the answers to their questions. I asked her if they helped her figure out the answers and she said they didn’t. It made me wonder about the point of such an exercise since one would expect them to be teaching what to do at an event like that. Later I also thought about how they may have told her but if it wasn’t said plainly Hannah would likely not have understood.

After dropping the kids off at school I called the school councilor and told her what Hannah had said that morning. She told me that she knew of another student already working at the same place and that they would talk with Hannah and help her out.

When I picked up the kids from school Hannah handed me a hand written paper with a bunch of questions as well as the answers. The councilor came through, she always does, she and the girl she mentioned sat down with Hannah and went over what to expect and helped Hannah find the answers she would likely need.

When I took her to her job interview she said she was nervous but she looked perfectly calm. I think she would have felt worse if she hadn’t had the little extra preparation help from her school counselor.

Kyle and I waited in the car while Hannah went in. It took a long time because the interviewer didn’t see her and interviewed the next person. Kyle got very antsy and annoying. Thankfully I had a dollar in change and bought him a hamburger and cup of ice water which did the trick.

When Hannah was done and came back to the car she gave me the low down. It really sounds like it went very well. She had been told by someone that one’s first interview is the worst so she was happy to have accomplished that and gotten it over with. I was so proud of her. She’s known she has aspergers for five or six years now and instead of using it as an excuse she has steadily worked on improving herself. The interviewer said if she got the job they would put her up front. Sounds to me like they liked her personality and felt she could handle the public. Anyone with kids in the spectrum knows that is a big deal. Hannah also told me that it was so difficult to maintain eye to face contact the whole time and she was plum wore out. I was impressed that she remembered to do that and made herself do it.

Yep! That’s my kid! Now we wait to hear if she got the job or not. How exciting!

                             My big girl on a motorcycle at the mall a few weeks ago. 😉

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Setting the record straight about letting go of my negative past.

I want to set the record straight.
I do not hate or hold bitterness toward Howard Turner or his wife Marcia Turner or anyone else who lorded over me while I was in the cult called United Fellowship House of Praise.
I also do not forgive them, not because I hold issues with them, but because I chose to let them go rather then to hold on to them through forgiveness. If I cared about them I would work toward forgiveness, but, they are a memory that I have used to make myself a better person, other then that, they mean nothing to me anymore. Not feeling anything towards ones old enemy is a very freeing feeling. For me this is more appropriate.

 

I also want to set the record straight that the Turners and others from that group were not the reason for my departure from Christianity or my reason for becoming wiccan, pagan, and then atheist. I have never been the kind of person that chooses a life path because of peer pressure or rebellion. Every now and then I get to learn about someone I thought knew me but never really did. Because if they did they would never assume this, they would know I have always lived an authentic life. Though I may have chosen life paths because of misinformation, it was still something I personally believed until I learned otherwise. When I was a Christian I was whole heatedly a Christian. No mater what other Christians did I was a believer in what Christ did, not humans. As a Wiccan I found a religion that promoted peace and love which was what I needed at the time. As a pagan I found a system of acceptance, not just people accepting me, which is nice, but people accepting each other from all walks of life. As an atheist I found what actually makes sense and adds up. It’s not always a world of love and peace, but I have noticed lately that more and more atheist are on a more humanistic path then the stereo type angry atheist of the past. But still, I’m not in it for love, peace or acceptance, but for what makes sense to me. Love, peace and acceptance are not dictated by religion or belief system, those attributes can be found anywhere and can only really be spotted once they personally start to grow inside the individual without religion, a group or another person dictating how, what or when it should grow. Not that religion, groups and other people can’t help, but as much as one may see how it has helped there is just as many who have seen how it can harm. When it’s growing inside you personally it grows from purity and it’s yours and it can not be taken away no matter what truth you uncover or where you go.

 

Also, if you think I blame God for past hurts then I suggest you look up the definition of atheist, you silly goose you!

 

One more thing to add. If you think I am personally writing about you I’m sorry to inform you I am not. I would not feel the need to set the record straight when I could just let you know what is really going on personally. I chose to blog about this because I have had many comments from various people about this subject. If you were or are a part of UFHOP I am not necessarily talking about you either. There were a few folks there who were not a part of using me or my family and some who may not have really been aware of what was actually going on. I do wish those people would take my word for it because I am not of the nature to lie about things and like I said before, “if you really knew me…” There are some folks I have intentionally forgiven because they have either asked for it or they have continued to be a part of my life in a positive way.

 

I understand some folks will disagree with me about the word forgiveness. It’s not just about dictionary definitions all the time, often it’s about how we feel about the word. Some of you may see my letting go as forgiveness and if that’s how you want to see it then that’s your business.

 

 

Ok ok! I can’t say “let it go” without hearing Idina Menzel sing and Elsa spinning about just so so here! Happy Day to you!

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Reagrding the article called The Worst State in America for Black Children Has Been Declared.

Regarding a post and comments from this link:

 

The Worst State in America for Black Children Has Been Declared

 

My reply was too long so I decided to put it on here instead of take up a bunch of space on Katie’s wall. Here it is;

 

It’s not always the parent or the teacher who are to blame. Not that they don’t hold some responsibility. Sometimes it the other students.

 

When we lived in Hawaii my oldest, who was then still in grade school, was bullied terribly. She was one of four white kids in her class and she had poor social skills due to having asapergers. Even the other three white kids shunned her. Her teacher tried to help her but didn’t know how and I tried but was just on the brink of learning about her aspergers and changing the course of many thing to help her. So the teacher and I still held some responsibility. But, back to the students, their behavior toward my daughter caused a lot of pain, some depression and this affected her grades. She failed that year. The next year in Michigan started off bad but between my learning things I needed to learn to help her and having the Vice Principal take a personal interest in her things started changing for the better. The more confidence she got the less she was bullied. The less she was bullied the better her outlook was. The better her out look was the higher her grades went. Her mood was a direct link to her ability to learn.

 

She is one of the fortunate ones in some ways. She has a parent who is available to help her step by step. Many low income kids like her have parents or a parent who has to work long hours just so they can survive so they are not available to help the school fix any bullying issues and such. There are still many teachers who care and are good teachers but have no clue how to stop bullying or even recognize that it is present.
When I lived in Plover, WI a black family moved to our block. It wasn’t till then that I realized how rare it was to see black people here. I was also shocked to hear the gossip that erupted about them immediately. Parents were concerned for their kids because they were playing with the black kids and they just knew anything that went wrong was “those” black kids fault. The resident snob had finally began speaking to me but when I went over to befriend the new family, well, Mrs. Snobby Pants stopped talking to me again. (Her loss not mine.) If that family was per-judged upon arrival that fast then I can imagine it would likely be worse in school.

 

The blame can again go back to the parent here because a parents racism can affect how their kids see the world. However, there are studies done that found that children are more affected by their community even more then their own parents. So, in most cases, students at school and friends are shaping each other which takes some of the blame off the parents shoulders, depending.

 

Anti-bully education needs so much improvement. Rather then be discouraged, it’s good to remember that we are more aware of it now and exposing it now then we did back in the 70’s and 80’s. So, there is hope as long as we don’t throw our hands up and quit. Maybe if more people realized that they are not their child sole educator or that the teachers aren’t the only one shaping their kids but that their class mates and friends are as well, well, maybe they will take more of an interest in their child’s community. It certainly isn’t a quick fix.

 

 

 

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Hope and thankfullness regardless the name of the day.

I wrote a response to a friend who has recently decided to not celebrate Easter due to it’s pagan origins but rather to recognize Passover.  I thought I’d share my response on here.

***

Growing up in church I saw Christians celebrate the Easter holiday as a celebration of Christs great sacrifice and resurrection. They often gathered together early Sunday morning to watch the sun rise and reflect on the resurrection of whom they believed to be the Son of God and reflect on what it meant for them personally. I was taught about some of the pagan origins and the holiday is actually mentioned in the Bible as a time frame of when the resurrection occurred. (Acts 12:4) We saw it as just that, a time frame, not a replacement. Over time I learned that most the holidays have pagan roots but since I believed in celebrating salvation and Jesus everyday it didn’t matter. It wasn’t until I became subject to Elder Turner that celebrating holidays as a Christian and giving God the glory regardless of the history of that holiday became taboo. The only holiday we were allowed to celebrate was Thanksgiving. Funny about that is now I can find more wrong with Thanksgiving then the other holidays. Even our birthdays were not to be celebrated because it was a selfish act. It wasn’t leaving Christianity that freed me to celebrate the holidays so much as it was leaving that cult. I believe I had the right idea before, that everyday is holy no matter what religion claimed the day. Even now I celebrate the holidays if I have the energy to do so regardless of the fact that I do not see their history as fact. But I do see the necessity many of these holidays came from and the hope they have inspired in many in times of need. Most of the pagan holidays sprang up in a time of hopelessness and the holidays were put in place to help people get through the tough times. Over time those holidays took on other meanings and traditions but the original meaning was simply hope and thankfulness. That meaning is the same in all religions and all beliefs at the core. It’s people here and there who add and take away what they feel so inspired to add and take away. I don’t think there is anything wrong with promoting hope and a spirit of thankfulness regardless of what the holiday is called and what day it lands on. Regardless of wither you celebrate Easter or not I wish you a wonderful happy day!

 

My sister, cousin and I on Easter. I believe it was my aunt who got us the baskets and goodies and my mom who took us to church. I’m the one on the right.

 

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Easter Rabbit and Easter Eggs. How it all really went down.

Easter Rabbit and Easter Eggs.  How it all really went down.

 

One day as I walked along the side of the freeway contemplating the upcoming holiday Easter, a small car past me bellowing dark gray clouds of smoke. I tried to hold my breath but the polluted air found it’s way into my lungs causing me to have a vision that answered the often asked question about why there are bunnies laying eggs on Easter. I felt it would only be selfish of me to not share this great revelation with all. Here’s is the truth behind that great mystery. I have no solid proof, which is a good thing. If I did then I would have to provided where such proof is. However, since I don’t have proof I can insist one take this vision as fact through faith alone which is so much more admirable.

 

After Hades drew the short straw and was sentenced to rule the underworld there grew a patch of death across the land. He tried to hold in and deny his bitterness at losing his birthright but sorrow and anger can not be truly hidden, it always finds a way to manifest it’s self. Because of his strong oppressed emotions the land above where ever he roamed would die. Poseidon knew his older brother well, after all they had spent most of their lives inside their father, Kronos’ belly. It was he who convinced their not so understanding younger brother Zeus to help formulate a plan to help Hades, thus help the living things being affected by Hades bitterness. They sought the counsel of their sister Hestia. Hestia suggested they find a way to cheer old Hades up first thus helping him to release his bitterness with less harm.
They drew Hades to the surface to walk among his destruction. As expected it did not affect him until he came upon a strange sight. The goddess Hestia had sought the advice of the northern goddess Eostre. Eostre gave Hestia a rabbit she had blessed and told Hestia to put the rabbit down in the mist of the dead land just before Hades was to walk by. Hestia did as Eostre had said.

 
As Hades came upon the snow white rabbit it stood out among it’s black burnt terrine causing Hades to stop and wonder. As he gazed upon the rabbit the creature began to birth. But even stranger still was that the rabbit was not birthing live kits but an egg. And not just a normal egg, but an egg covered in a whole spectrum of colors. Hades at first saw this as an abomination and took the egg and threw it as high and far as he could. The arch the egg was thrown in caused the spectrum of colors to follow it across the sky manifesting the first rainbow.

 
The rabbit continued to lay more curious eggs. Some with colored spots, some with stripes, and others with various colors and designs. Hades picked up a red egg and threw it across the scorched land. As it flew through the air under it’s shadow bloomed beautiful red roses. The same effect happened with the green egg but instead beautiful soft to the touch grass came up. Out of curiosity Hades continued to throw eggs to see what would happen. By the time he stopped to reflect the torched ground was covered in life, beautiful life.

 
Hades heart softened, his inner sorrow still there but the anger had subsided. He returned to his realm a subdued god. Because the anger, bitterness and sorrow still remained inside of him it still grew. He kept it from torching the earth above him by remembering the rabbit laying eggs. From time to time his emotions still had to be released. Thus the reason we still have volcanoes to this day.

 

As far as the land where the rabbit eggs had been thrown, it is a true place of notoriety. Many gods and hero’s passed over that land and were affected one way or another. It is said that hero’s such as Mithras, Jesus, Attis, Krishna and many more met their doom and glory on that very land. It was also there that Persephone was first abducted and where her mother goes to find her for their sweet but short reunions. It is a land of magic and miracles, of death and rebirth. Much like the Garden of Eden and the Fountain of Youth, one may look as far and as long as they like, they will never actually find it. To prove oneself one must believe it exists by faith and faith alone.

 

 

Now that you have learned the truth behind the Easter Holiday you may send me money because that will prove how honorable you are and you will be blessed for your faith.

 

(In small print I admit I made all this up, sadly even the send me money part.)

 

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Noah (2014) – A movie review by Lori

Noah…. the 2014 movie staring Russell Crowe as Noah, Anthony Hopkin as Methuselah, Ray Winstone as Tubal-cain, Nick Nolte as Samyaza and Emma Watson as Shem’s female partner. I saw it in the cinema a few days ago while waiting for my car to be repaired. What did I think of it? That isn’t an easy question to answer. I think the best answer is bizarre, it was bizarre. The actors were great and quite a bit of the movie was pretty good too. Even the guardian rock monsters were pretty cool. But the overall story line and the feeling you have when it’s over is… bizarre.

What I really didn’t like was the Darren Aronofsky’s hip-hop montage he threw in there. It hurts my eyes and I think my brain. I also don’t care for the type of filming where it feels like the camera man is jogging and the camera bounces up and down. A lot of films have been doing that lately and it’s most annoying.

If one is lining it up with the KJV Bible they will be very disappointed or even angry. I’ve been saying for a while now that there are many Bible stories that would make great movies like Percy Jackson and Hercules and such. The movie Noah definitely went down that road. I wondered at first if the writer was an atheist but then I started thinking maybe he’s something else like a Muslim. I don’t know much about Islam, but I do know they have a lot of similar stories as Christianity and Judaism but their version has big differences which naturally they claim are the right ones just like the other two religions do about their views. That got me to thinking even more. After all, I was raised on Christian views of other religions including Islam, Judaism and Catholicism so maybe there was more to the Noah story in the Torah and for that matter there could be more to it in the Catholic writings as well.

What I found was that Judaism account of Noah isn’t much different then the Christian version but the Islamic story has quite a few differences. One being the guardians helping to build the ark though it never said they looked like rock transformers. The movie has less people on board then any of the religious stories. That part was a bit annoying to me as well. I don’t mind the straying from the religious texts thing to some degree but it can be a bit much at times. Even though it is technically a myth it’s nice to not stray too much from the well known tales. But, to each his own, some folks may really love all the straying.

As far as the writers and producers Darren Aronofsky and Ari Handel are both Jewish born and raised from what I can tell. I appreciate how they were able to incorporate different religious views into their movie as well as good story telling and cinema fun.

If you haven’t seen it yet I suggest you keep an open fairy tale mind and just enjoy all the carnage, bad attitudes and water and don’t expect it to be like the story you grew up on. On that note, if you haven’t read the actual tale in your religious texts or haven’t read it since you were a child I suggest you do the same. The story of Noah isn’t about rainbows and unicorns, well, maybe it is a little but not the happy happy joy joy kind. Even though it is said to be about salvation and mercy, it’s more like death and revenge.

The last scene where they look up and there are psychedelic rainbows I was waiting for the song “It’s Raining Men” to start playing and hot shirtless dudes to drop from the sky but sadly that didn’t happen. I guess that was my brains way of not really thinking about Shem’s daughters having to hook up with their uncles in order to replenish the earth.

 

Ari Handel and Darren Aronofsky

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My wall post about a Laci Green video FaceBook conversation

 

The original post I saw was at this link on Upworthy- http://www.upworthy.com/one-of-the-most-important-parts-of-sex-is-something-we-skip-over-way-too-often-2?g=2

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A Brief History of the Devil – A poem by Lorenakoran

A Brief History of the Devil
    A poem by Lorenakoran

***

There was a time when heaven was in hell
and Hades ruled the underground
he was feared and barley spoken about
but he wasn’t bad and he wasn’t good
he may have been a little grumpy
after all he did get the short straw
but he took his post and ruled it well
till time rewrote him a myth in history
others took his place and heaven was displaced
to the glory of the far reached heavens
heaven above and hell beneath
seemed to suit the new believers
Hades now combined with the horned divine
became a symbol of Satan
ruler of hell he himself became evil
he was then made a plotter and a deceiver
not to be trusted and only feared
and this time the topic of much discussion
his name used as a threat to manipulate
the poor and illiterate into submission
his name for gain of land, gold and fame
a perversion of the old ways
they said they killed if one didn’t believe
in the one true God but look closer and see
they really killed if one didn’t believe in the new Satan
it was never about God, never about a savior
cause a loving saving God would never allow
such greedy ambitious behavior
creating a devil, a hell full of torment
was a much better piece of equipment
to control the masses, to make them submissive
to rid the world of thought and freedom.
Though the old ways are myth as a common thought
it’s odd that in this advanced century
the recreations are considered fact by so very many.

***

 

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A blog inspired by the movie God’s Not Dead.

My daughter (age 14) was invited to go to the cinema with her friend to see God’s Not Dead and Divergent. She’s been reading Divergent so she was excited about this opportunity as well as excited to hang out with her friend. I wasn’t surprised the other girls family planned to see God’s Not Dead since her mom is a practicing very religious Catholic. I told Kara it was a religious movie but she assured me she was fine with that.

It turned out the other girls family wasn’t going to the cinema, the girls were being dropped off, and once the first movie, God’s Not Dead, was over they didn’t have enough time to see Divergent. Kara was still happy to have had a school night to hang out with her friend and have fun.

The morning of the planned event I found a movie review from a little paper about the movie God’s Not Dead while waiting at the laundromat. It basically talked about how the movie made Atheist look like mean crazy people, Muslims look violent and Buddhist look pathetic. It talked about how the movie started off with the professor, played by Kevin Sorbo, who told all his students on the first day of class to take a note card and write God is dead on one side and sign their name on the back and hand it in. Only one student refused to do that so he was challenged to convert or convince some group of folks that God is real or he would lose credit or get a bad score, or something like that. The article went on to describe how unrealistic that was and that a professor who did something like that would be fired in real life. I gave Kara the article and told her to read it which she did.

When she got home I asked her what she thought of the movie and the first thing she said was that is was very biased. Her and her friend were also very disappointed about what happened to the atheist professor at the end. Over all she thought the movie was poor quality except for the guy who played the professor, she said he was a good actor. My response, well, it’s Hercules and the captain of Andromeda, of course he’s a great actor! I think Kevin Sorbo is a fun actor and I would love to work with him on a film, or for that matter just about anyone on a film. I just want to work on or in a film period!!! But really, he does seem fun to an extent. I Liked his official FaceBook page a while back and thought at first it must not be him who was running the thing. It would have the oddest not so good posts from time to time. But then it would have stuff that seemed like it could really be him after all. After a while I realized the issue. It was him and he basically a Conservative Republican Christian and often posts what I feel are mean conservative posts. Seriously not cool stuff sometimes. So, when I heard he was staring in the new religious film, God’s Not Dead, I was not the least bit surprised. In other words, I do not want to marry Kevin Sorbo! I’ll continue saving myself for Bill Nye.

About what the article said about how a professor wouldn’t really get away with that sort of thing in real life, I had to think about that one a bit. I was brought up in a world that taught that Christians were, are and will be persecuted for their faith. Stories went around about teachers trying to ruin childrens faith. They would tell how there was a movement of atheist who would ask kindergarteners, “how do you know there’s a God?” And how that one question would set up serious doubt from the devil in those poor childrens minds. Did that really happen? I have no personal experience that it did but it could have, I don’t know. There was and still is schools who have hired angry atheist as well as angry Christians set on influencing people but many schools now are more careful of going against what a child’s parent teaches them no matter what the belief.

My sister had an interesting teacher in 9th grade. He did actually put the, “how do you know there’s a God” challenge to her. But, like I said, she was in 9th grade, not kindergarten. People by that age should be challenge and should know why they believe what they believe. Her answer was a challenge back, “How do you know there is wind? You can’t see it. But, you can feel it and you can see the results of it.” She explained that it was the same with God, she could feel him, she could see the results of him. Before the teacher had put this challenge to her he had grown accustom to her constantly challenging him. She told us he taught every religion like it was his own but when it came to Christianity and Judaism he basically slaughtered them. She made a point to challenge him as often as she could. She felt it wasn’t just for her, or even him, but for the other students as well. They needed a good example and to see that his view point was flawed.

My folks and I saw her as a hero. No one else was challenging him. Of course my view point was biased at that time. She was my big sister, my folks had conditioned us well, Christianity was obviously the only correct way. Anyone who disagreed was wrong and in need of salvation. Period! And the Bible said we would be persecuted for Christs sake so it was an honor for her to be persecuted.

But, was she really being persecuted? If you are looking to be persecuted you will see anything negative as your persecution. In other words you will make it happen. By the time he challenged her belief in God he had already been through the ringer of her circular thinking. We didn’t know that’s what we were doing, we were masters of it unknowingly. She saw his exasperation, his action to quit challenging her, as a victory for Christ when in actuality it was more likely he was exasperated at her never being able to prove a point with out going back to the circle and never really answering clearly and scientifically. A belief based on religion isn’t meant to be proven scientifically because it is important that it be taken by faith. So explaining it will always end up going in circles. If one is happy and satisfied with that then good for them. But, they should not be so hard headed that they insist others join their circular reasoning and consider them selves persecuted when they don’t or are challenged. One really shouldn’t set out to prove it either. One should just accept it or don’t. It’s not about proof and science, it’s about faith. Other people have their faith as well. It’s crazy to try to convert them to ones unprovable faith, one should just respect it. After all one has first hand experience believing something that can not be proved. Where’s the empathy folks? !

The famous debate between Bill Nye and Ken Ham is a perfect example for such circular reasoning issues. When Bill didn’t know the answer to something he would admit it openly without shame. When Ken was so challenged he would revert to, “There’s this book…” Meaning “it says so in the Bible so therefor it is true”. How can you have a real discussion or debate with someone who keeps coming back to the same sentence about it being in “this book” rather then answering the question with facts or a simple “I don’t know”. What about the other books? They say thing quite different then the Bible and many of them were also “divinely” written. Ken Ham showed his expertise in circular reasoning. He laid out a map of what not to do. However, there are many Christians and Creationist who are celebrating his victory and celebrating their persecution cause that’s how they are programmed to see it. I know, I used to be one.

I got this brilliant idea regarding the movie as well as other Christian flicks. Kara’s recently watched the Mel Brooks films, Robin Hood: Men In Tights and High Anxiety. Her sister threw a fit when she tried to play Spaceballs…again. So between all the Mel Brooks time and the religious film I came up with a great idea for a fun satire, parody type film. It would be one that has really mean Atheist that have scowls and never smile unless it’s an evil smile and kind of bent over hench man looking and the Christians have a soft halo type glow behind their heads with perfect posture and do ridiculously kind things constantly but then when no one is looking they send evil threats through the computer to the Atheist. Of course every type of person that isn’t a Christmas would be overly stereo typed. It could be a lot of fun. I haven’t got a plot but maybe one day I will or someone else will do it. If anyone gets a successful idea from this I insist you cast me. If you don’t the Flying Spaghetti Monster will no longer allow you to eat pasta.

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