Last night was a big night for us. Hannah had her first real job interview.
Last week her school had career day. She was told to come dressed for an interview because they would be teaching the kids about getting jobs and such. Hannah’s dad had bought her some nice black slacks for occasions such as this.
It’s been a long time since I’ve had to dress up for anything so I didn’t even think about telling her to try on the clothes the night before. The morning of career day the world fell apart because her nice slacks were way to baggy and looked bad. It would have been an issue for anyone but when you have aspergers like Hannah does, it’s even bigger. After some frustration she found something else nice to wear.
Yesterday morning while Hannah was still lying in bed she threw her hands over her face and told me she was going to fail her job interview. I asked her why she suddenly came to that terrible conclusion. She told me that at career day at school they did a mock job interview and she didn’t know most the answers to their questions. I asked her if they helped her figure out the answers and she said they didn’t. It made me wonder about the point of such an exercise since one would expect them to be teaching what to do at an event like that. Later I also thought about how they may have told her but if it wasn’t said plainly Hannah would likely not have understood.
After dropping the kids off at school I called the school councilor and told her what Hannah had said that morning. She told me that she knew of another student already working at the same place and that they would talk with Hannah and help her out.
When I picked up the kids from school Hannah handed me a hand written paper with a bunch of questions as well as the answers. The councilor came through, she always does, she and the girl she mentioned sat down with Hannah and went over what to expect and helped Hannah find the answers she would likely need.
When I took her to her job interview she said she was nervous but she looked perfectly calm. I think she would have felt worse if she hadn’t had the little extra preparation help from her school counselor.
Kyle and I waited in the car while Hannah went in. It took a long time because the interviewer didn’t see her and interviewed the next person. Kyle got very antsy and annoying. Thankfully I had a dollar in change and bought him a hamburger and cup of ice water which did the trick.
When Hannah was done and came back to the car she gave me the low down. It really sounds like it went very well. She had been told by someone that one’s first interview is the worst so she was happy to have accomplished that and gotten it over with. I was so proud of her. She’s known she has aspergers for five or six years now and instead of using it as an excuse she has steadily worked on improving herself. The interviewer said if she got the job they would put her up front. Sounds to me like they liked her personality and felt she could handle the public. Anyone with kids in the spectrum knows that is a big deal. Hannah also told me that it was so difficult to maintain eye to face contact the whole time and she was plum wore out. I was impressed that she remembered to do that and made herself do it.
Yep! That’s my kid! Now we wait to hear if she got the job or not. How exciting!
My big girl on a motorcycle at the mall a few weeks ago. 😉
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Posted in blogging, Story Of My Life, tagged acceptence, anger, Atheist, authentic, bitterness, blame, Christian, cult, definition, forgiveness, forgivness, let it go, life path, live your life, love, misunderstanding, pagan, peace, positive, UFHOP, wiccan on April 22, 2014|
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I want to set the record straight.
I do not hate or hold bitterness toward Howard Turner or his wife Marcia Turner or anyone else who lorded over me while I was in the cult called United Fellowship House of Praise.
I also do not forgive them, not because I hold issues with them, but because I chose to let them go rather then to hold on to them through forgiveness. If I cared about them I would work toward forgiveness, but, they are a memory that I have used to make myself a better person, other then that, they mean nothing to me anymore. Not feeling anything towards ones old enemy is a very freeing feeling. For me this is more appropriate.
I also want to set the record straight that the Turners and others from that group were not the reason for my departure from Christianity or my reason for becoming wiccan, pagan, and then atheist. I have never been the kind of person that chooses a life path because of peer pressure or rebellion. Every now and then I get to learn about someone I thought knew me but never really did. Because if they did they would never assume this, they would know I have always lived an authentic life. Though I may have chosen life paths because of misinformation, it was still something I personally believed until I learned otherwise. When I was a Christian I was whole heatedly a Christian. No mater what other Christians did I was a believer in what Christ did, not humans. As a Wiccan I found a religion that promoted peace and love which was what I needed at the time. As a pagan I found a system of acceptance, not just people accepting me, which is nice, but people accepting each other from all walks of life. As an atheist I found what actually makes sense and adds up. It’s not always a world of love and peace, but I have noticed lately that more and more atheist are on a more humanistic path then the stereo type angry atheist of the past. But still, I’m not in it for love, peace or acceptance, but for what makes sense to me. Love, peace and acceptance are not dictated by religion or belief system, those attributes can be found anywhere and can only really be spotted once they personally start to grow inside the individual without religion, a group or another person dictating how, what or when it should grow. Not that religion, groups and other people can’t help, but as much as one may see how it has helped there is just as many who have seen how it can harm. When it’s growing inside you personally it grows from purity and it’s yours and it can not be taken away no matter what truth you uncover or where you go.
Also, if you think I blame God for past hurts then I suggest you look up the definition of atheist, you silly goose you!
One more thing to add. If you think I am personally writing about you I’m sorry to inform you I am not. I would not feel the need to set the record straight when I could just let you know what is really going on personally. I chose to blog about this because I have had many comments from various people about this subject. If you were or are a part of UFHOP I am not necessarily talking about you either. There were a few folks there who were not a part of using me or my family and some who may not have really been aware of what was actually going on. I do wish those people would take my word for it because I am not of the nature to lie about things and like I said before, “if you really knew me…” There are some folks I have intentionally forgiven because they have either asked for it or they have continued to be a part of my life in a positive way.
I understand some folks will disagree with me about the word forgiveness. It’s not just about dictionary definitions all the time, often it’s about how we feel about the word. Some of you may see my letting go as forgiveness and if that’s how you want to see it then that’s your business.
Ok ok! I can’t say “let it go” without hearing Idina Menzel sing and Elsa spinning about just so so here! Happy Day to you!
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Posted in blogging, tagged Acts 12:4, cult, Easter, Easter holiday, hoildays, hope, pagan, pagan origins, passover, resurrection, thankfulness on April 20, 2014|
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I wrote a response to a friend who has recently decided to not celebrate Easter due to it’s pagan origins but rather to recognize Passover. I thought I’d share my response on here.
Growing up in church I saw Christians celebrate the Easter holiday as a celebration of Christs great sacrifice and resurrection. They often gathered together early Sunday morning to watch the sun rise and reflect on the resurrection of whom they believed to be the Son of God and reflect on what it meant for them personally. I was taught about some of the pagan origins and the holiday is actually mentioned in the Bible as a time frame of when the resurrection occurred. (Acts 12:4) We saw it as just that, a time frame, not a replacement. Over time I learned that most the holidays have pagan roots but since I believed in celebrating salvation and Jesus everyday it didn’t matter. It wasn’t until I became subject to Elder Turner that celebrating holidays as a Christian and giving God the glory regardless of the history of that holiday became taboo. The only holiday we were allowed to celebrate was Thanksgiving. Funny about that is now I can find more wrong with Thanksgiving then the other holidays. Even our birthdays were not to be celebrated because it was a selfish act. It wasn’t leaving Christianity that freed me to celebrate the holidays so much as it was leaving that cult. I believe I had the right idea before, that everyday is holy no matter what religion claimed the day. Even now I celebrate the holidays if I have the energy to do so regardless of the fact that I do not see their history as fact. But I do see the necessity many of these holidays came from and the hope they have inspired in many in times of need. Most of the pagan holidays sprang up in a time of hopelessness and the holidays were put in place to help people get through the tough times. Over time those holidays took on other meanings and traditions but the original meaning was simply hope and thankfulness. That meaning is the same in all religions and all beliefs at the core. It’s people here and there who add and take away what they feel so inspired to add and take away. I don’t think there is anything wrong with promoting hope and a spirit of thankfulness regardless of what the holiday is called and what day it lands on. Regardless of wither you celebrate Easter or not I wish you a wonderful happy day!
My sister, cousin and I on Easter. I believe it was my aunt who got us the baskets and goodies and my mom who took us to church. I’m the one on the right.
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Posted in Stories, tagged Attis, bunny, colors, Cronos, Easter, Easter Eggs, Easter Rabbit, eggs, Eostre, faith, goddess, gods, hades, Hestia, Jesus, Krishna, Kronos, life after death, magic, miracles, Mithras, myth, Persephone, Poseidon, rabbit, rainbow, reserection, Zeus on April 20, 2014|
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Easter Rabbit and Easter Eggs. How it all really went down.
One day as I walked along the side of the freeway contemplating the upcoming holiday Easter, a small car past me bellowing dark gray clouds of smoke. I tried to hold my breath but the polluted air found it’s way into my lungs causing me to have a vision that answered the often asked question about why there are bunnies laying eggs on Easter. I felt it would only be selfish of me to not share this great revelation with all. Here’s is the truth behind that great mystery. I have no solid proof, which is a good thing. If I did then I would have to provided where such proof is. However, since I don’t have proof I can insist one take this vision as fact through faith alone which is so much more admirable.
After Hades drew the short straw and was sentenced to rule the underworld there grew a patch of death across the land. He tried to hold in and deny his bitterness at losing his birthright but sorrow and anger can not be truly hidden, it always finds a way to manifest it’s self. Because of his strong oppressed emotions the land above where ever he roamed would die. Poseidon knew his older brother well, after all they had spent most of their lives inside their father, Kronos’ belly. It was he who convinced their not so understanding younger brother Zeus to help formulate a plan to help Hades, thus help the living things being affected by Hades bitterness. They sought the counsel of their sister Hestia. Hestia suggested they find a way to cheer old Hades up first thus helping him to release his bitterness with less harm.
They drew Hades to the surface to walk among his destruction. As expected it did not affect him until he came upon a strange sight. The goddess Hestia had sought the advice of the northern goddess Eostre. Eostre gave Hestia a rabbit she had blessed and told Hestia to put the rabbit down in the mist of the dead land just before Hades was to walk by. Hestia did as Eostre had said.
As Hades came upon the snow white rabbit it stood out among it’s black burnt terrine causing Hades to stop and wonder. As he gazed upon the rabbit the creature began to birth. But even stranger still was that the rabbit was not birthing live kits but an egg. And not just a normal egg, but an egg covered in a whole spectrum of colors. Hades at first saw this as an abomination and took the egg and threw it as high and far as he could. The arch the egg was thrown in caused the spectrum of colors to follow it across the sky manifesting the first rainbow.
The rabbit continued to lay more curious eggs. Some with colored spots, some with stripes, and others with various colors and designs. Hades picked up a red egg and threw it across the scorched land. As it flew through the air under it’s shadow bloomed beautiful red roses. The same effect happened with the green egg but instead beautiful soft to the touch grass came up. Out of curiosity Hades continued to throw eggs to see what would happen. By the time he stopped to reflect the torched ground was covered in life, beautiful life.
Hades heart softened, his inner sorrow still there but the anger had subsided. He returned to his realm a subdued god. Because the anger, bitterness and sorrow still remained inside of him it still grew. He kept it from torching the earth above him by remembering the rabbit laying eggs. From time to time his emotions still had to be released. Thus the reason we still have volcanoes to this day.
As far as the land where the rabbit eggs had been thrown, it is a true place of notoriety. Many gods and hero’s passed over that land and were affected one way or another. It is said that hero’s such as Mithras, Jesus, Attis, Krishna and many more met their doom and glory on that very land. It was also there that Persephone was first abducted and where her mother goes to find her for their sweet but short reunions. It is a land of magic and miracles, of death and rebirth. Much like the Garden of Eden and the Fountain of Youth, one may look as far and as long as they like, they will never actually find it. To prove oneself one must believe it exists by faith and faith alone.
Now that you have learned the truth behind the Easter Holiday you may send me money because that will prove how honorable you are and you will be blessed for your faith.
(In small print I admit I made all this up, sadly even the send me money part.)
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