While your there please Like, Follow, & Share! Ty! 😃
I also did it for other social media as well. They have very slight differences. I dont have the money to pay royalty fees so I have to use their samples and if I use music on one it may not work out with another so I just used the music provided by each one, which is tedious. But untill I find a better way at least it works and hopefully will continue to.
Here’s the links to the other versions I put together.
So this guy, David, was a devout Mormon Christian and became a successful singer.
I dont know his full story, yet, but at some point he gathered the courage to let people know he didnt agree with his fundi upbringing and that he himself is gay.
To add insult to injury he decided to take his honesty to even scarier hights and expose that he is an athiest.
Both of those can mean the loss of everything in many communities around the globe, including much of the United States.
He deeply loved his family and was scared his comming out would cause him to lose them, after all, sadly, this happens to people all the time.
His moms reply to him surprised him and he ended up writting her reply into a beautiful heart warming song. I’ll include the lyrics and link to the song bellow.
There’s nothing like pure unconditional love, or as the Greeks and many Christians say, “Agape”.
Davids mom is a shinning example of pure Agape!
Here’s the lyrics to the song.
Hell Together By David Archuleta
“Bow your head, don’t be bold You’ll survive by doing what you’re told Said love is earned and we can’t choose But the more you grow, you know the truth And all I want is to make you proud If I would run would I let you down? You said If I have to live without you I don’t wanna live forever In someone else’s heaven So let ’em close the gates Oh, if they don’t like the way you’re made Then they’re not any better If paradise is pressure Oh, we’ll go to Hell together You and me, that’s all we need Blood is thicker than the pages that they read I’m afraid of letting go Of the version of me that I used to know Crying tears in Sunday crowds Took my hand, and we walked out You said If I have to live without you I don’t wanna live forever In someone else’s heaven So let ’em close the gates Oh if they don’t like the way you’re made Then they’re not any better If paradise is pressure Oh, we’ll go to Hell together Hallelujah, what’s it doing for ya? When it’s in the way? Hallelujah, wish we knew it sooner Walking out with grace You said If I have to live without you I don’t wanna live forever In someone else’s heaven So let ’em close the gates If they don’t like the way you’re made Then they’re not any better If paradise is pressure Oh, we’ll go to Hell together” Source: LyricFind
If me saying that offends you, let me put it into perspective for you.
Would you rather I go back to sleep and go back to being in a cult?
Would you like it if I lost my freedoms and was no longer allowed to express myself and how I really feel but instead could only say and do what pleases others and those in authority over me?
Would you rather that I could only learn from Christian sources and nothing else?
Do you really want me to go mentally back to sleep? Really!?!
I could go on but hopefully by now you can see and understand the point I’m trying to make.
I understand there have been people who have abused that term but what term hasn’t been abused by people. As a whole it’s a very good term and for me it is extremely fitting.
I first met Uncle Ralph in 2008. I was living in Honolulu and somehow managed to be crowned Mrs. Hawaii International that year. The next step was to attend and compete for the title of Mrs. International 2008 in Chicago. We didn’t have money or time off for my then husband and our four kids to all go so I headed across the ocean on my own.
One of the big parts of the Mrs. International pageant is the husbands, however, if, for some reason, one’s husband isn’t able to attend then an alternative escort can take their place. So, the plan was for my cousin to accompany me. He lives in the Carolinas and was willing to come see me and his mom and step-dad while I was there and then be my onstage escort for the pageant. I hadn’t seen my cousin since I was a child and it had been many years since seeing my aunt and I had not yet even met my Uncle Ralph.
This would be my second time visiting Chicago. The first time was for a church conference and I really didn’t get to see anything except the airport, the hotel we stayed in, Monument of Faith Church, Chuck E. Cheese, and the snowy roads between them. (Picture from https://www.rdhenton.org/monument-of-faith-church)
Wikipedia image of the John Hancock Center.
My mom and step dad.
At that time of my visit from Honolulu my Aunt lived in downtown Chicago in a high-rise across from the Hancock. You really can’t get better than that for a Chicago visit! To top it off, my mom and step dad met me there from Arkansas and stayed a few days.
As it turned out, my cousin wasn’t able to do the trip so my aunt asked me what I thought about my Uncle being my escort instead. As disappointed as I was that I wouldn’t get to see my cousin, of course I thought that was a great idea!
My aunt and uncle were such wonderful hosts and we had such a nice time. They showed me the city, explained the transient system and took me out to breakfast at their fav local “hole in the wall” the day I arrived and then later they took me to a horigotatsu type restaurant which was a first for me. It was quite lovely and the food was delicious!
Btw, my aunt has experience with pageants and knows the ins and outs of them quite well.
One of the pageant events was a dinner for the “husbands” which Uncle Ralph was invited to and attended and thankfully enjoyed.
This was my first, and so far my only, pageant so it’s no surprise that I didn’t win anything, at all, but I love shoe biz and the stage and I had a great time. I met some lovely ladies and I was nice to the snobby ones regardless of them going out of their way to show me disdain.
My uncle gracefully escorted me on the stage and everything went smoothly.
Right after the pageant and before the after party while waiting around in the foyer one by one different pageant husbands would spot me and make a beeline for me and introduce themselves to me as if I were some sort of celebrity. I wasn’t the only one wondering why, some of their wives were too, especially the snobby ones.
Finally my aunt just had to let me in on what was going on cause she knew and was taking a moment to enjoy the scene.
While Uncle Ralph was at dinner with the husbands they got him to talk and basically fell in love with him so when they spotted me in the foyer, because of him, they just had to meet me.
Later at the after party I got to have a dance with my uncle. I get nervous when it comes to slow dances like that cause my dad was very strict and critical when it came to formal dancing with him, which wasn’t often, but thankfully it wasn’t so nerve racking after all. I also loved watching my aunt and uncle dance together. Such a beautiful couple!
The next time I got to see Uncle Ralph I had my kids with me. Tyler, my oldest who was still in grade school at the time, had memorized a song in Japanese that he liked from an Anime called
Kyo Kara Maoh. It was a long song and Uncle Ralph sat intently listening as Tyler sang the whole thing for him and then Uncle Ralph told Tyler how wonderful he did. It was a precious moment. Tyler’s grown now and says he certainly did not sing the words correctly but he did try his best.
Uncle Ralph wasn’t just a WW2 veteran but he was also incarcerated as a child along with his family in a Japanese American internment camp. He was written about and interviewed by several publications. I’ve included a few links below. I encourage you to check them out. Besides getting to see what he looked like and sounded like and learning more about him you’ll also learn more about an important part of history you might not be that familiar with. (Photo fromhttp://remembrance-project.janm.org/tributes/fumio-ralph-fujimoto.html)
I will confess, I’ve enjoyed telling people that my aunt married a Japanese man so now I’m part Japanese. Truthfully, I’m a mix of various Anglo-Saxon whiteness, so to speak, so I find it odd but funny that oftentimes people just believed me.
I would have loved to have seen my uncle at least one more time and I really wish I could be there for my aunt during this difficult time. I can only hope she just knows how much she means to me and that I love her and I wish her comfort and all the best going forward on her life’s journey.
RIP Uncle Ralph Fujimoto! I am so glad my children and I had the honor of meeting you and being a relative of yours through my beautiful aunt. Thank you for your service to our country! You are loved and missed!
Uncle Ralph and Aunt Shirley
Note: I have wonderful pictures of the time I spent in Chicago with my aunt and uncle but they are not currently accessibly to me. I had them, at one time, on my original Facebook but it was suddenly deleted due to hacking so when I am able to access my pictures from that time I will try to remember to post them on here. I am actually quite disappointed that I can not do this now. If my aunt or others have copies of them or of their own that they will send me I’ll be sure to post them on here. For now I have mostly copied and borrowed what I could find.
Also, I apologize if the links don’t work by just clicking on them. If they don’t you can copy and past them and they should work that way just fine.
Here are some links where you can find more info about Ralph Fujimoto. One of them centers around his 100th birthday, the others are about his life and the Japanese American Internment camps.
I worked early today and it was a pretty easy day for the most part, … except my feet were hurting really bad.
Since I worked earlier I got off earlier and the pain increased and spread up my leg’s and my ribs hurt. Just to clarify, the pain didn’t increase because I got off earlier, I’ve just been under a lot of stress and stress triggers the CFS and Fibro symptoms. It took me a long ass time to get home cause I had to walk at practically a crawling pace.
Not like one of those fast crawling babies like my son Kyle was, he won a Jamba Juice crawling contest once when he was a baby and I got a bunch of free Jamba Juice, it was awesome! Yes, I shared some of them with the kids. Just some of them.
Anyway, more like a slow person in a lot of pain type of crawling pace.
When I got back to the room something set me off and I had a “melt down” of sorts and went off at Kara and Tyler.By going “off” for me it’s just being grumpy and getting upset that the dishes aren’t done or something like that.
I can take a lot and I do take a lot but then it all piles up and Kaboom!
Kara dealt with it by being understanding, washing a few dishes, and going off at Tyler.
Tyler dealt with it by being freaked out and then lecturing me about it.
What I needed, … what I needed was what I’ve always needed when things just get to be too much. I needed empathy and time alone.
But I can’t expect people to just know that so I had to find a way to communicate it. At first it came off more like a bad apology, you know, the kind where a person says they’re sorry and then tells you why they really aren’t sorry and why it’s all someone else’s fault.
I didn’t mean for it to come off that way and eventually Tyler and I came to an understanding, for which I’m thankful. Meanwhile, Kara’s asleep.
I really do not mean to hurt anyone, and I am “sorrowful” for causing harm and discomfort. At the same time I still need compassion and time to heal and understanding. One concept doesn’t always have to negate the other.
I still think we do really well considering the three of us live in very cramped quarters with very little to no privacy. Getting away here isn’t really getting away cause when we leave the room the odds are there will be people and noise, often excessive noise, and so on.
I pay about $60 a day to stay here in this one room, two bed, hotel room with a mini frig, small microwave, small dresser, desk, and a night stand. Sure, for a short time stay that’s a good deal and normally the room would be more like $100 a night but since we’ve been here so long we get the long term managers special and don’t have to pay room tax. But, … it’s $1,800 for a 30 day month. I don’t actually make that much, I pay what I can and eventually get behind and then on the first when I get my pension I use it to catch us up and then it all starts over again.
Being homeless is So Much Work !!! I am not usually in this much pain, some pain, but not this much. I am almost always exhausted. When my friend and sister asked if they could help ease some of the load like with paper work and stuff it felt exhausting even trying to think of how they could help. My friend figured out she could help by printing forms off for me when needed and giving me a ride to the court house when we finally get that going. I haven’t yet got it going. My sister helped me by trying to figure out which forms I needed to fill out to contest the evection on my record, I’ve never actually been evicted but my record says I have. I still haven’t gotten any of that stuff done. I feel like I come off as ungrateful but I’m not, I’m just tired and barley able to do the minimum of what I need to do.
On the good side, we did finally complete the course we were require to take to get help from a local organization. So, now all we have to do is fill in the “homework” and send it back. The homework is a bunch of application like forms. I’ve done quite a bit of mine but there’s some things I need to make calls and get the info for and I need to be awake and alert during business’ hours to do that. I think Levi may be done with his. All four of us have to do our own set of forms and turn them in. Then we will get a mentor. We will still need to do the home hunting and there’s some more steps after that.
The housing program isn’t just good for me due to having the false eviction on my record but also the oldest two cause they were evicted from Bethel Place in Arpin, WI, the place where Tyler was verbally and physically assaulted and the place where the landlord took me to eviction court even though I didn’t live there. And it’s good for Levi because he has no credit history. He does have a good rental history now, but most places will judge you by your credit score regardless. So, even if I were to get the false eviction off my record first, the program is something we probably needed regardless. My credit score could certainly be better too. I have to pour all my income into the hotel so, for now, I’m not able to pay my old bills and they have been turned over to creditors.
Why am I telling you all this?
Partly because I want to, and this is my page and you’re not the boss of me!
That was humor in case you didn’t know.
When it comes to writing we can’t expect everyone to know when we’re using humor and that’s okay. I mean, it’s not like I can make a face at you or wink or smile. I’m harping on this cause recently I was belittled for not catching some ones humor online. I think I’d just rather they remove me and block me, but whatever! I guess it showed me their true colors. I’ll never trust them again, for sure! Blah! They are like the taste of ear wax. Belittling people is not okay. Yuck!
I share things somewhat as insight into my life but also because I am never the only one going through what I am going through. Maybe by reading about what I’m going through and how I feel and all will help others with understanding and empathy and compassion towards other people like me. Maybe you can’t help me, but maybe by bettering your understanding you’ll be able to help someone else somewhere down the road. Or maybe you’ll be able to avoid some of the things that have led to my demise or if you are in a similar situation maybe you won’t feel so alone.
For those who wonder, Tyler IS trying to get a job. His last job closed up and left without paying him and even bounced a check that they had given him which has cause a problem with his bank account. Although it’s 2023, autism and type one diabetes are a problem when it comes to decent employment. However, Tyler will find something eventually, I just hope it’s not another place that takes advantage of people or abuses people with disabilities.
Here’s the thing about disabilities and challenges like autism, ADHD, Anxiety disorder, OCD, depression, trauma, even diabetes, & etc., it may not show physically but it often still very much affects a persons ability to have a “normal” life and many people with these conditions depend on a caregiver who is usually not paid to take care of them, like a parent for instance. Many people with mental challenges like those either can not “launch” or take longer. So, when the child support stops and other helpful stuff ends, the parenting job isn’t necessarily over, it just has to be done along with working a job or another job. And if the parent or guardian has a disability or so, it doesn’t matter, well, to some it might, but to people like me I am not going to dump my kids in the gutter and leave them there.
Maybe a GoFundMe will be the answer to all our problems. My mom and friend tried that avenue. I have had negative results in the raising money area but I thought maybe it’s me, maybe if someone else did it things would be better, I was trying to be positive about it. It’s been around four months now and there have been two very kind people who have donated. I am really thankful for them and for my friend and mom for trying. My sister has gone out of her way to try to help and I am thankful and often feel bad about it cause she has her own family and needs.
It’s usually the folks who don’t have that give the most, I find. Especially weed, I’ve been given “flower” a few time by homeless people now. Sorry, but, they couldn’t afford it but they were good people who wanted to help out another struggling person and that’s all they had to give. There was this one guy who was asking for “a hand out” and gave Tyler his sandwich meat and mini jar of mayo. It was so nice of him! Yeah, I do that too but I grew up giving so it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I guess it is at least sometimes, it the receiving that always feels like a big deal to me.
I know people with plenty but I don’t think they give a second thought about helping and I wont ask them. I’m not really even sure why, maybe it’s something I should do. I think it may be a flaw. I’m not sure of the psychology here, I’m too tired to think deep right now.
Also, if you’re wondering, yes, I did apply for disability and I was denied. Yes, I plan to keep at it but I haven’t yet, it’s one of the many things I need to do. I don’t mind working, I often even like it, but my body is so wore out. When it comes to CFS and fibromyalgia I can’t plan for when I’ll be okay and when I won’t. I can often get an idea but it’s not a set schedule.
I really should be working “from home” and not on my feet but I’m currently doing quite the opposite. I usually like my job but I can feel it taking it’s toll and it’s not good. The longer I do it, the worse things get. Sometimes when I’m working and the fatigue and pain sets in I wish I had one of those devices that Baron Vladimir Harkonnen floats around in. Lol!
I hope you guys have a better day then my evening was. I think the rest of my night will be better. Things change, feelings change, nothing stays the same and for that I am grateful!
Note; Regarding the art, I used an AI generator to do them. I altered a few of them on paint. I understand it is preferred to actually pay real people to do art work but I have no way of being able to pay for that. If I did I certainly would do it. I’d love to take some art courses so I could do my own art without the help of an AI art generator but for now this is what works.You can find my NightCafe AI art page at https://creator.nightcafe.studio/u/LoriRevels . Be sure to check it out and heart the art you like, comment, and Follow! Thanks!
Some people with chronic pain are not able to work, some can, and some choose to try. Regardless, it’s important that they have a dedicated medical specialist to help manage their symptoms and pain. Obviously, here in the US, one needs medical insurance for this.
Government and state insurance usually prefer people to work but will quickly and without much, if any, warning cut the insurance down or completely off if they decide the person is making “too much” money.
In order to continue working, for many it is imperative that the person have their medication and in order to keep getting their medication they need to keep seeing their specialist and/or doctor which is often not possible once the gov and state insurance are cut off.
This doesn’t just apply to people with chronic pain, it applies to many other conditions including mood disorders and mental psychosis.
For instance, a person with depression might be able to hold down a job quite well and be very successful while consistently on their medication. But, when the gov and state insurance is cut off there’s a good chance they will not be able to cover the cost of the doctor and the meds thus causing them to not just lose their employment but possibly end up with a bad employment record as well.
Making a few extra bucks will not cover medical expenses. There are some places that have clinics with sliding scales and some of those places are reliable, sadly many are not. There are businesses that offer prescription discounts, but when your first priority is keeping a roof over your head, running water and electricity, and food on the table, there’s often nothing left for that “copay”. Hospitals often offer financial assistance for folks who do not have and can’t afford medical insurance, while it may look nice on paper, the assistance doesn’t cover all the expenses and the person is left in debt for years to come and will often no longer seek much needed medical and mental help any longer. Many jobs offer insurance if a person works a certain amount of hours and it’s usually not free. Many people with chronic pain and other physical and mental challenges can not work the required amount of hours to qualify and can not afford the cost of the insurance they would be required to pay. So this is not, in many cases, a viable possibility. It may seem understandable that the government and state do not want to be taken advantage of, but their requirements are not reasonable and are actually causing many folks who do not want to be dependent on the “system” even more dependent because it comes down to a more “do or die” type choice. And really, it’s not even that simple, but this is a touch of what is going on in our country right now. If we had free healthcare for all, it may cause very wealthy CEO’s to lose some money, but it would make a huge positive difference for the majority of Americans. It won’t solve all our problems, but imagine if people could get the medical aid and the mends they need! Imagine if people with chronic pain weren’t in so much pain! Imagine if people with depression and bi polar and schizophrenia and other mood disorders and psychosis had access to their meds and the help to be and stay on them! While not everyone would take full advantage of this I believe many would and I believe it would eliminate much of the unemployment, much of the aggression, much of the subsidies, much of the “road rage”, and so on. For those who don’t believe in the medical system in general, put your money where your mouth is. If you have magical cures, give them away. The average person can not afford your snake oil whether it works or not. So if you’re not gonna supply it for free to all who ask then please help support the quest for free health care. And for those who are fearful that free healthcare will lead us into socialism and communism, that is not necessarily true, and your fear is likely causing many to suffer. So while you are afraid of a government that will cause people to suffer, you yourself are doing the very same. Please stop it! Please stop hindering people from getting healthcare, please do the right thing and stop causing and promoting harm.
If none of this affects you personally, or so you think anyway, as a human with compassion, please get involved and help this country overcome big corp and start actually taking care of it’s people.
There are folks who believe if anything is “free” then it will magically cause people to become lazy. Maybe this will happen to a few, or not, but people in general tend to overwork, not underwork, themselves. Big corp has promoted the idea of lazymess to keep us enslaved for years. Most of us are quite brainwashed about this. Time to pull that plug, we are not lazy, we are literally being worked to death.
When we truly band together for this much needed human right we need to be ready for insurance companies and any company and person who may lose millions and billions to bare their teeth and claws and do and say anything to propagate fear in order to stop it from happening, They do not want to lose their grip on this country, they are milking us and they will do anything, they will lie, cheat, and threaten, they will buy people off, they will use anyone. Beware and be ready and don’t fall for their nasty propaganda. They will use politics, religion, community, family, anything and everything. They will find your passions and use them against you. They will pretend they are on your side. They will be desperate and they will not go out without a fight.
Freedom isn’t easily won, we must not turn on each other and we must remain diligent and strong and when one of us is weakening we must be compassionate but remain firm. We have already overcome so much, we can do it again! Is this “our country”, is this “our land”? Big corp says “NO”, “no it is not, it is theirs”. There are way more of us than them, they may have the money, but we have the people!
Well, it’s already March 3rd and I haven’t yet published this blog. I’ve been staling because I wanted to finish it first and when I say “finish it” I don’t just mean correcting spelling and typos but also including pictures to offset any potential monotony. However, for now, I’m going to just go ahead and hit that publish button because I have so much on my plate that if I don’t do it right now time will just keep going by. I may or may not later include pics, but at least I’ve published it.
I stopped blogging unintentionally. I still wrote and did updates and so on about my life but instead of posting them on my WordPress blog I posted them on social media, mostly Facebook. I intended to go back in time on the timeline, which is often easier said than done, and then copy what I had written and post it on WordPress but, …
yeah,
well,
Facebook suddenly deleted my account with no warning or explanation.
I’m still reeling from the aftermath. I still hope there’s a way to get that account back.
As mad as I was at Meta for erasing the last twelve or so years of my social media life, I went ahead and started a new account because it’s the only way I have to communicate with some of the folks I know. Well, at least the ones I can find and that have noticed that I’ve sent them a friend request. Lots of folks don’t check or even know to check their friend requests area and the personal messages that come in from folks that are not on their current friends list.
I’d really like to see a better social media platform that could replace Facebook. So far all the other ones I know of don’t quite have what they need, yet, anyway.
Btw, at the same time my original Facebook account was deleted my Instagram was also deleted and my Twitter was restricted. I can still go to my Twitter account and read things but I can not interact or post. I have no idea why any of this happened. Getting a hold of someone to find out has been most difficult. Then you have your spammers and scammers that find que words that bring the vultures in and anything posted about this sort of thing triggers them to tell you about their friend or relative that went through the same thing and got it restored and to call them or visit their page or website. It’s not legit and if you’ve had this happen to you please don’t be fooled by them.
Enough About That
So, there’s been so much happen. My life is still just as crazy and eventful as ever. I’m almost convinced I’m in a Matrix/Truman show and/or I’m actually from a different dimension and my presence here is causing havoc, it’s all just too weird. Sometimes I think that when I died as a child that maybe the original me didn’t actually come back, maybe I’m another version of me from an alternate dimension or even someone completely different. Maybe we swapped places.
From The Truman Show
No! I do not watch too many sci fi movies, as a matter of fact I don’t watch nearly as much as I ought. Thank you for your concern!
Then, there are the “coincidences”, often it’s everyday and even more than once a day. I understand there’s psychology behind this, like it’s actually common but we don’t usually notice it so when we do we can become hyper aware and notice them more then usual so it feels unnatural. Or something like that. We can also make things happen unaware, and so on. It’s still weird though!
From The Matrix
Moving On
Instead of trying to go all the way back to where I left off, I’m gonna start with where I am now and hopefully work my way back as I go. Now is a good place to restart cause, believe me, it’s full of strange intrigue as it is!
Where The Hell Am I?
Okay,
so,
I’m in Texas.
What?!!
I know! Right?!
Yeah, I didn’t expect that either.
Due to some impending events my daughter, Kara, and I became homeless. It started with me, I was living in my car for a while and then Kara joined me. We took a trip to Cali for my nieces wedding, tell you about that another time, and then back to central Wisconsin but the weather turned bitter cold, it does that there, and we had to find a safe warm place to live. My mom reached out and invited us to live with her so we could have a warm shelter while we got on our feet, which is why we are now, …
in the great state of Mexico,
I mean Texas!
You’re Never Gonna Believe What Just Happened!
Shoot, the trip driving down here was crazy but, of course, it doesn’t stop there.
On the way down we had the car packed to the brim so we were either going to sleep in our seats in the car or at a hotel. My ‘adopted’ family had already let us know we could stop by and stay with them in Missouri on our way down, which we did but not at first because we had a tire blow out on a lonely forgotten stretch of highway.
The tire after bring removed.
Thankfully we lived through that!
The roadside assist working on changing my tire.
I had to call for assistance because when I was in Green Bay, or was it Appleton, with my then boyfriend, Robert, the jack broke while he was changing a tire so I had no jack. I was happy to hear my insurance, Progressive, would take care of it and they dispatched a guy. After waiting some time I noticed a set of intense headlights staring at me through my side rear view mirror, and yes, it was late at night. I hoped it was the truck dispatched to help us but I was also concerned that it wasn’t. So, while exclaiming to my daughter that the truck might be here I was also sitting back in my chair and locking the doors. She noticed. After a short time the truck began to move and I was trying to prepare my “who are you” speech in my head but didn’t need to use it because the truck pulled out and went a short way down the highway and then made a u-turn and drove away. I then called the guy to see if it might have been him, it wasn’t. He informed me he would be very obvious and have big flood lights. He sounded a little concerned.
While we were waiting I got a message from an old friend, someone I have known since I was about fourteen. We had reconnected on Facebook but didn’t really communicate much. He had seen my post on Facebook about some of the things we had been going through and wanted to know how her could help. I’ve more recently been making myself ask for help, it’s not something I like to do. I have a sort of complex about it, I guess it’s an anxiety and I’m trying to overcome it. But then when someone responds I don’t exactly know how to proceed. However, he got ahold of me at a moment when I knew exactly what we needed, a tire!
Baymont Inn in Keokuk, Iowa
After the truck got there and the tire was changed we decided to stay at a motel till morning because I needed to replace the donut with a real tire. Since it was going to be a while we decided to stay the night and thankfully got a real good deal on a motel. When Walmart opened we were able to get the money my friend sent us through the money center and then get the tire. It had taken a while so when we learned we could get the same good deal at the hotel we decided to stay another night. We needed the rest petty bad so this was really great. While at the hotel we got to meet Wammy Tammy from Alabammy! She said she’s a rapper and she name-dropped a few famous rappers that she said she knew. Whether she actually knew them or not I found her delightful! She didn’t remember any of this the next day but she was very happy that I knew her name and thought she looked fabulous. Kara found out she didn’t have food so I left some of ours for her at the front desk when we took off.
One of my friends sweethearts!
I enjoyed the visit and two day stay at my friend’s beautiful house in Missouri and got to meet the new grandkids and the adorable dogs. They’re not like, super new, just new to me. They took good care of us, fed us well, and then we were back on our way to Mexico, I mean Texas. Just to be clear, the grandkids and dogs didn’t feed us, but they did provide adorable cute kid and pet therapy!
Almost There!
Throughout the trip down south we made sure to stay in touch with my mom and know her whereabouts since she often travels between the town she has a home in and the town her husband, Fred, resides in. He had a stroke a while back and is currently living in a convalescent home until he is able to be further rehabilitated. So my mom spends part of her time at her home and the rest of her time with a lovely older woman from their church that is near where Fred lives.
my art, 🙂
Although I’ve not been very particular about the UPC organization and some of their teachings, I am happy about their sense of community and how they have been taking care of my mom and step-dad. There are some lovely folks who care for their well being and friendship at the church near their home and then when my mom is away and near the home Fred is in the church there looks after them and has provided my mom with comfort and shelter. Regardless of being offered a place to stay at one of the church family’s ranch she chose to stay with a lonely older woman named Gloria so she could be a friend and company to her whenever she is there.
And Now The Strange Tale Begins
We were only about a day away when my mom informed me that she would indeed be home but that she had a lady named Anna with her who would also be staying at her house for a short time.
My mom had found Anna, a lady close to my age, I’m 52, at the library in the other town and had been talking with her and another person. When it was time for the library to lock up, my mom learned that Anna was homeless. She didn’t feel right about leaving her there at the library with nowhere to go and at some point learned that she couldn’t bring her back to Gloria’s house. As it turns out, Anna is Gloria’s ex-daughter-in-law and Gloria had a stern warning for my mom about Anna. Although Gloria is my moms friend she still felt wrong about stranding Anna and told her friend she wanted to give Anna a chance. So my mom called the friends from the church that had told her she could stay with them and asked if the two of them could stay. She also related the warning from Gloria and, from what I understand, they and the pastor of the church agreed that it would be good to give Anna a chance and an opportunity to get on her feet. However, it was a short stay because the couple they were staying with had a family emergency and had to leave town, So, my mom asked Anna to accompany her on the drive back to her house and stay a few days, which they did.
My mom has a small but cozy home. It has two bedrooms and thankfully two full baths. The second bedroom is pretty small so it only fits a small bed which is where my daughter has been sleeping. I often have trouble sleeping laying down so I am more than fine with using the recliner in the living room. When Fred had been home for a while after his stroke my mom got a hospital bed for him which is still in the living room and that’s where Anna slept.
If you’ve stayed at other people’s houses long enough and enough times then you likely know that everyone has their own set of house do’s and don’ts. Having several different guests can be a challenge in this area let alone just one guest. Personally I’d rather have the host of the home just tell me the do’s and don’ts up front. I’ve seen folks get very upset about people not following rules they didn’t even know existed, so yeah, rather than get mad about it, just tell me up front. I’m still gonna make mistakes, but this way I can at least try or if it’s something I can’t do then it can be hashed out before there’s trouble. My mom’s pretty good about sharing her do’s and don’ts although there were times I was concerned Anna might not understand or be resentful. However, she never showed signs of that so we all carried on. It’s not that I thought she should have special privileges, but more just that I didn’t know her and I didn’t know what she was expecting when she was asked to accompany my mom. Then I grew even more concerned when I learned she had a recurring fascination with the idea of revenge.
It wasn’t really the house chores that concerned me though, it was that she seemed to have triggers and over time I learned that sometimes when my mom was talking about an old friend that Anna didn’t know Anna thought she was talking about someone she did know and she would get upset about it. After this became clear to me my mom and I had a talk about it and decided it was best to proceed with caution. There was this one time my mom was talking about a new nurse that was working in the facility Fred is in and how my mom tried to explain to the nurse that one shouldn’t argue with a person who has dementia and I thought those wise words also applied to a person who has gone off due to a trigger, at least while they are still in the meltdown anyway. When someone has gone off like that there is usually no reasoning with them and to try to do so is just adding fuel to the fire.
This all was taking place for the course of two weeks, btw. As time progressed whenever Anna would get upset with my mom or upset in general the whole “revenge” word would come up and then she’d tell my mom about her uncle who would get even for her if someone caused her harm and so on and so forth. Naturally this was cause for concern because it was usually triggered by something my mom had said.
My mom had stayed here, at her home, for two weeks because she had hoped that when she went back to the other town Anna could return to the home that they had been staying at. However, the family tragedy that took the couple out of town only progressed. This also meant that my mom and her husband were only in contact over the phone even when Fred fell and refused to go to the ER and while the new nurse continued to fuss at him whenever she got annoyed with him regardless of my moms words of wisdom about not arguing with a person who has dementia. For a while I didn’t understand why she wasn’t going back but eventually she explained the issue with Gloria and with the couple they were staying with and she had been waiting to hear from them so she’d know how to proceed but they were caught up in what they were going through and didn’t get back to her for a while. Eventually they did talk and once my mom understood that they would not be able to house Anna she tried to find a new plan.
Meanwhile I was growing more and more concerned that Anna was being kept here against her will. A place to stay or not, she’s a grown woman and if she wanted to go back to her town, then she ought to go back to her town. I talked with my mom about my concern and my mom assured me she kept checking with Anna and Anna kept assuring her she was fine and it was all okay. However, I was noticing some agitation on Anna’s part every time she learned they were not leaving that day. I tried to talk to Anna about it, even offering to help communicate with my mom, but Anna would also tell me the same thing she’d tell my mom, that she was perfectly fine with staying longer. I didn’t believe her. At some point my mom started agreeing with me on this. There was a point for two nights where I felt so uneasy that I decided to stay up while everyone slept and then sleep after someone, other than Anna, was up, just to be sure.
Anna had been saying for a day or two that she had a friend she could stay with when she went back. So it was settled, we were all going to go to Fred’s town to drop Anna off at the library where her friend would pick her up, we’d go see Fred, Kara and I would spend some time DoorDashing, then retrieve my mom, and then head back home.
About halfway or more to our destination we stopped for gas. After I finished in the bathroom my mom and daughter stopped me on the way out the door where they were in the check out line to tell me that my mom left her wallet at home. They were trying to figure out what spare change we all had that could be put together to at least buy us a little gas. This wasn’t good. The man waiting in line behind us heard us and offered us five dollars. This was enough to get us to town where a friend of my moms agreed to meet us and loan us the rest of the money to get back home and get dinner. The man from the couple my mom and Anna had stayed with previously had returned home which was why he was back in town. Meeting us also gave him the opportunity to give Anna the things that she had left at their house. Once this was all done, we were back on track.
All went according to plan until Anna texted me from the library saying she had heard gunshots. This alarmed my mom because one of her church friends had told her he’d seen a strange Hummer driving around and there were some other odd things happening. As it turned out, once we were done we returned to the library to pick Anna back up. Apparently her friend hadn’t returned her texts all day and never showed. Like the strange settings odd nights often have, it was overcast, dark, and starting to rain.
So, once again we all found ourselves settling into my moms cottage like home for the night.
The next day swept by quickly and eventually my mom and Anna were packed and heading out while Kara and I stayed behind. My mom doesn’t like to drive at night due to her poor eyesight and was cutting it close. Anna couldn’t help out because before meeting my mom her driver’s license had been stolen. She didn’t want to apply for a new one till she was back in the town my mom had met her in. They were cutting it close but there was still just enough daylight left to see them safely along their journey. Except it wasn’t because Anna had put her stuff in my car the other night and forgot all about it. When they returned to the house my mom was irate and was going off at Anna and then at me. I did not feel responsible and I most certainly felt disrespected so I very sternly told her I wouldn’t take it. All was quiet for a little while. Of course my mom and I had to figure things out and we did. She told me that when they realized that Anna had forgotten her things Anna sternly insisted on going back. My mom was worried about her husband, he was not in very good shape and the new nurse was causing things to be worse, so this was just too much. I explained to her that I take the blame for things that I shouldn’t and I’m working on myself to stop doing that. We both had an understanding and were able to move past it.
The next day was Sunday so my mom decided to wait till Monday to take off because she needed to get some important things done locally when businesses were open. That evening I took them to church and found that folks here do indeed order Doordash after all.
Oh, by the way, I’ve been a Doordash delivery person for a while now. I don’t necessarily recommend it, it really depends. I’ll have to make a blog just about that later.
So it was going well and then it was time to pick them up. We ended up staying out later so we could meet up with two of my moms friends from church at a deli. They were very lovely and we had a very nice time.
Then today came along, or, what was today but now it’s yesterday since it’s 1am.
Very Early Monday Morning
I’ve been having trouble sleeping at night the last few days and I was so happy to find that I was actually sleepy and I thought I was going to finally pass out and wake in the morning or at least early afternoon.
I thought!
But then I got a call from my oldest, Tyler. He was upset because he had just been in an altercation with a vexing neighbor of his called “Kat’. This lady has been vexing for quite some time now and regardless of lying about and causing trouble for the building’s owner where they live, she’s on his good side, or so it seems, and he doesn’t do anything about the harm she causes.
There’s a whole story behind this place that is obviously owned by a slumlord, but again, that’s another blog. So, I’ll tell you a little just for background.
It used to be a convalescent home type place. It needed too many repairs so they emptied it and sold it. A guy, Jeff, bought it against his wifes warnings with the dream of turning it into a community, residential place, camp ground, etc, etc, etc, place. I needed a place to live and with my only steady income being my pension of $610 the $300 a month room rate looked very enticing. That and it was rather remote and I wanted a place to get away and be able to focus on writing and such. It has a few community kitchens, one of them being bigger and thus the main one. The kitchens had refrigerators, stoves, ovens, sinks, cupboards, and even cookware and utensils and so on. There were even two shelves where folks would put stuff they wanted to share or give away with plenty on them for those in need. There’s a couple community rooms and a coin op laundry room and a gym (that recked of mold and dog). My kids all hated it, but they were off to live elsewhere so I wasn’t too worried about that.
However, Tyler and Kara didn’t end up finding places as they had hoped so out of nowhere else to go they got rooms at the same place and hoped it would be very temporary.
I ended up leaving first, and man is that a story, … that I’ll tell later.
It’s another freakin crazy story. But later!
Other things happened and I ended up homeless.
Kara has her own saga but she too ended up homeless.
The landlord of the palace ended up taking the three of us to court claiming we didn’t pay rent for several months and wanted the money he claimed we owed him and wanted us evicted. I did owe him for one month but whenever I told him I wanted to pay him he would refuse and tell me he already paid to take me to court. He lost the eviction court case because I hadn’t been living there for three months and when it came to what I owed him the judge believed me and ruled that I only owed him for the one month plus late fees.
Tyler, on the other hand, had paid his rent the whole time and presented the judge with proof. So the slumlord, I mean Jeff, could not evict him. He was supposed to take him to court again for the money he claimed Tyler owed for the office and storage he had been renting and had paid for but still hasn’t. However, he has proceeded to harass Tyler often. To make it clear, Tyler didn’t owe the landlord, he had paid his rent every month and paid for his office and storage every month until the old managers changed the locks and locked him out of them.
Back to Kat, the vixen.
It was close to midnight and Tyler was using his computer in a common room since his room doesn’t get the wifi. He had gone to the kitchen to make some tea and returned to his computer to wait. Kat bursts in going off about how Tyrler left his stuff in the kitchen so she was going to throw it away. This has been an ongoing issue and Tyler has had his stuff thrown away before and the landlord only replies to this by saying that he’s told Tyler he couldn’t leave things in the community kitchen. Tyler pulled out his phone and filmed Kat taking his things and throwing them out right in front of him while he argued with her and was telling her not to do it. At one point you can see Kat coming directly at Tyler as he tries to block the little room to the trash and basically runs him down in order to throw his things away. Kat, btw, in the video footage doesn’t look hysterical, she is calm and poised the whole time, she does talk back and uses swear words, but her voice and demeanor are calm and collected.
I’d like to add that the next day Tyler found that his bottom was full of bruises due to this altercation.
Something I Should Tell You
In case you don’t already know, I ought to tell you that Tyler is autistic and has depression and anxiety. Tyler also has recently been re-diagnosed from Type 2 Diabetes to Type 1 Diabetes and currently is out of his insulin and can not get more until he can make it to his doctor appointment which is difficult because he can’t get a ride during business hours. There’s so much more to this but I’m going to continue with the original subject.
I couldn’t sleep.
Eventually, sometime in the great AM I finally drifted off to sleep and didn’t wake till after 2pm.
At some point my mom and Anna were back in the car and off.
During their ride Anna got very upset about something that didn’t make much sense to my mom. Anna ended up going on about the couple they had stayed with before and had really bad and mean things to say about them and was accusing them of stealing and things I have no doubt they didn’t and wouldn’t do. My mom tried to reason with her for a moment but then recalled that in the state Anna was in she’d do better laying low, so to speak, and not upsetting things further.
The further along they got the more unsafe my mom felt and realized that it may not be safe to drop Anna off at a dark and deserted library. She tried to come up with ideas, maybe the police station, and so on, but nothing sat quite right with her.
On the way to and from the two towns one must stop at a border patrol checkpoint before proceeding. Once they got there and the officer started to ask my mom his usual questions she realized that he was an officer of the law and may be able to help her. Before asking him anything she needed to let him finish his usual line of questioning but this time when it was Anna’s turn the officer asked her for some ID.
She actually pulled out her drivers license, you know, the one she claimed was stolen, and presented it to him.
After that my mom told the officer that she needed to talk to him privately. I don’t know what happened moment by moment but Anna ended up going off and claiming she and my mom knew each other for two years and that my mom worked for the cartel and knew her ex-husband and needed to be taken to prison and on and on. At some point the officers knew Anna had lost it and were just concerned about what to do with her while keeping my mom safe at the same time. Eventually a sheriff agreed to come out and take Anna to the border of where she needed to go and then drop her off. He couldn’t take her all the way cause it was out of his jurisdiction. Normally my mom tries to fix things like this, and I think she was tempted for a moment, but made herself let it go.
When she finally arrived at Glorias, Gloria was happy she was safe and unharmed. My mom called the other family that she had stayed with to let them know what had occurred. The lady of that family encouraged her to call me and let me know so I could be aware and alert just in case.
Not too long later after talking with my mom I received a text from Anna. I’m attaching it below.
The text from Anna.
My mom mentioned to me that she thought Anna may have been triggered when my mom and I were talking about someone my mom knows who owns guns. She thought that this may have upset her and may have been the cause of her going off like that. I wasn’t sure, I mean, how could I know, but, I looked up the name Anna used in her text to me and I couldn’t find anything with the name “red Sandoval” but I did find that there’s an infamous person with the first two names that shot people in a theater. Maybe the topic of guns triggered a fear or something regarding that. I really don’t know. But I can assure you, my mom wouldn’t be involved in a shooting of any kind, she may be involved in trying to convert people or help people, or preach and teach, or even tell you how to mop the floor, but not intentionally harm.
While I have empathy for people with mental illnesses, I still find it important to also keep oneself safe. We can only do so much. My daughter told me the other day that she believed in order to help someone who is homeless like Anna it takes more than one person. Helping people is a commitment that many folks have no idea about. It is important and needed, but often we do need more than just us to do it. It may take two, or it may even take a whole community.
If you have a mental health challenge, please get help, get professional help. I know it’s difficult sometimes and sometimes you have to keep trying, but don’t give up. There are meds and therapies and such that can make a big positive difference when applied and kept up.
Most places have the “211” number you can call for information on where to go for mental health, medical, food, and shelter, etc.
Also, I recommend seeing if your area has a NAMI. They offer support and groups and such to help people with mental illness and families of. Their crisis text & phone line is 988, and their hotline number is 800-950-6264, their web page is at https://nami.org/Home .
If you would like to talk to someone about religious doubts and free from judgment you may want to call Recovering From Religion’s hot like at 844-368-2848. The website is http://www.recoveringfromreligion.org.
This blog is in response to, better yet inspired by, the video I posted a link to bellow titled “What Do Blind People “See” When They Sleep?” The YouTuber is WATOP. He has some pretty fun videos, you might want to check his channel out.
The description for the WATOP video says,
“You know how it happens in your dreams? When you try to run, but your legs barely move, as if they are down in the clay… Or when you close your eyes and you find yourself in a place where you have always dreamed to be. Or when you dream that there are a hundred dollars on the road and in the morning you go out of the house and you really find them? Such things happened to everyone at least once, and if not, it will happen to you. So, in this video you will learn how the president Abraham Lincoln anticipated his death in his sleep, what kind of dreams do the blind see and how can your most terrible nightmare come out into reality.”
I used to have chronic sleep paralysis. I didn’t know that it was sleep paralysis and I didn’t know the science behind it at that time. Instead I was taught it was demonic attacks. Regardless, I learned a lot about the world of dreams because of it. I unwittingly learned how to lucid dream, which I again did know that it was called that. Once I did learn the truth about these things I had no longer suffered from having the paralysis often, just once in a while. I believe I learned the truth from Lauri Loewenberg ( link bellow), a dream expert. She encouraged people who had sleep paralysis to not fight it or fear it but instead to use the time to do things they couldn’t do awake, such as flying, and just enjoy the mental freedom until the chemical receded or they fell back asleep. The link to Lauri Loewenberg’s website is https://www.lauriloewenberg.com/ .
Although I had a fair share of lucid dreams, I never really enjoyed a sleep paralysis episode even though I knew what was happening, I just wanted it to be over. I think it’s possible that I could have a bit of ptsd because of the past and years of believing it was demonic.
As far as nightmares, when I was more in touch with my dream life and could end up realizing I was dreaming, I found ways to change the nightmare or to wake up. If I was being chased, I’d stop and face the thing chasing me and then I’d run at it in an attempt to hug it, grab it, pet it’s face, and etc. I never got to hug it though cause before I reached it either the dream would change or I’d wake up. For other types of nightmares I’d do the opposite of what a nightmare “wants”. I’ve had some pretty epic dreams because of this.
As far as dreaming and solving the mystery of where that guy lost his keys, it wasn’t supernatural. His brain was there when he put them in the frig. He was obviously distracted or tired and while awake he couldn’t access his subconscious. However, in a dream state the subconscious can be accessed and there are no limits on what you can do.
Regarding the death of President Lincoln, his subconscious predicting his death to him in a dream is not a surprise. He was about to put laws into order that would help the newly freed slaves leave the plantations and survive on their own. With him gone and Vice Pres Johnson in command, the freed slaves could be bullied into becoming indentured servants. So, the plantation owners would still be able to run their businesses without the extra cost of hiring people. This was a huge important deal to them. President Lincoln had to have known his plans would put him in jeopardy. He also may have pushed those thoughts aside, but, his subconscious was concerned and tried to get him to face it in a dream.
I believe we don’t give the ability of our brains enough credit. When we figure something out or know what’s gonna happen and then it does, many people jump to the conclusion that it’s some kind of supernatural interference/aid.
We may not even see ourselves as very intelligent so we deduct that it couldn’t have been something our brain figured out by basically “putting two and two together.” I used to believe and think this way. It didn’t help that there were people who put me down and compared me to others who they felt were more intelligent. So believing that anything that my brain actually worked out was really an act of God, sadly, came naturally.
Funny thing, if you want to believe your not that amazing, and that your accomplishments are due to supernatural aid, well, that’s how you will perceive things. And you know why you’ll see things this way? Cause your brain is capable of making you see what it is you believe to be true. It will even alter your memories to accommodate this.
I know there are many people that have examples and experiences that they feel prove me wrong. And if I am proven wrong, that’s cool, I don’t mind. However, if you want to convince someone that your supernatural beliefs are real, your own personal stories are your own, they are not proof to others who think critically and skeptically. In order to prove something it must be repeatable and observable and recordable by various kinds of people other than your circle of friends. In other words, by using the scientific method which is non bias.
Well, that’s it for now. If you have any questions, ask away! Just remember to be respectful.
Btw, all the images were found on Googles image search engine.
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