By Kahill Gibran
In Singing the Living Tradition# 715
Your children are not your
They are the sons and daughters
of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not
and though they are with you
yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but
not your thoughts.
for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but
not their souls,
for their souls dwell in the
house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit,
not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor
terries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which
your children as living arrows
are sent forth.
The Archer sees the mark upon
the path of the infinite, and
bends you with might that the
arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the
Archer’s hand be for gladness.
My thoughts on the above reading:
My folks did the best they knew how, I think. That’s a statement that can be challenged. Is being selfish and self centered and doing what makes you happy at the moment without considering how it may affect your children in the future really doing the best you know how? It could be if it is the only way you know how to live.
My parents way back when.
My dad was raised in an abusive home for children from the age of 11 to 17. My mom was raised by her mom who worked her butt off and spoiled her. Both really didn’t know a thing about how to raise a healthy family. My dad was afraid of losing us and used fear to control us. My mom would get her way no matter what including whatever she thought we ought to be doing. Both decided that all my sister and I needed was them. My dad’s dream for us was that we would avoid responsibility like being in management and avoid anything that would cause us to be disappointed by failing. My mom’s dream was for us to be missionaries alongside her.
My sister and I about 1990 in Coronado, Ca.
They created a world where we couldn’t mentally escape. We did however, manage to escape but only into another trap. This time it was a Church leader who took over our lives and used more fear and mental tactics to keep us mentally imprisoned.
Pic found on google.
My patents and I celebrating my dads B’day.
Not to soon later the church we got into
didn’t allow birthday celebrations along
with most holidays because the holiday
roots are pagan.
I was 38 years old before I finally found my own way out, and not without great pain and suffering. But it was worth it, it was worth it all to be finally free to be myself.
Pic I drew.
I have four children. At first I strived to make them good little Christians like I was. My daughters are the older of the sibling and they recall the tight uncomfortable life we had before with much distaste. When I left my mental cage I desired that my children be happy in their own way. I understood that what makes me happy or satisfied would likely be different for them since they are individuals with their own brains and their own will, desires, hopes and ideas. From time to time I would insist on things being done a certain way and then stop to consider why. If the why was a practical practice of health and safety then I would proceed but if it had come from the way I was raised with no actual good reason except the overused one, “that’s how we did it when I was a kid” and then to create more clones then I would drop it. Sometimes I will tell them about how it was more as a history lesson.
I got the pic on google pics and I added the words.
My goal for my children has been for a while now that they be independent and successful at whatever they chose to do. I want them to be aware of the world around them and realize it doesn’t revolve around them but they can make the world a better place. No matter what they choose to do with their lives I don’t want them to forget about the poor, the abused and the ecology and to do their part to help. My hopes for my children is that they not be ashamed of who they are and feel free to express themselves in confidence yet still be humble enough to continuously learn and better themselves. How they do all this is up to them. As their parent while they are under my protection I will point the way and be an example, but I am well aware that when the time comes it will be completely in their hands.
My daughter Hannah enjoying nature a few years ago in Hawaii.
Unlike my mother, I will be happy in their individuality and their passion. I am not interested in manipulating them or their children should they have any. After all, “They are the sons and daughters
of life’s longing for itself.”
Pic of my daughter Hannah a few years ago while hiking on Oahu.
Pic of my son Kyle at Pizza Hut a few years ago in Honolulu.
I love my daughter Kara’s sense of fashion!
This is a recent pic of her in Springfield, Mo.
Having fun with Kara dressing up. Took this pic yesterday.
Here is a sermon I heard at church last week that relates.
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